Can I please get back to normal…please?
I’m glad today was the last day of class…well, technically, tomorrow is the last day, but I can’t attend. Human Resources called me a few weeks ago (after I’d already signed up for the class) and asked me if I would be on an interview panel on March 26. The interviews are to chose a new chief of our department. So let’s see, should I…spend another 8 hours listening to a bone dry instructor drone on about hydraulic calculations for fire sprinkler systems (zzzzz)…or help decide who will be my boss for at least the next 7 years until I retire?
Hmmm.
So the added bonus is...I'll be back in my comfort zone tomorrow. It is SO difficult to be out of my routine. Normally, at my office I’m not subjected to treats like cookies and potato chips. If I'm not subjected to IT, I don't think about IT as much. And if someone does bring IT in, I can always get out and do something else.
But this week I couldn’t get away from IT, and I’m ashamed to say that I blew it. Not just the first day, but the next two days, too. In spite of my vow on Monday, I did eat a cookie on Tuesday and today, too. It pisses me off how I just couldn’t control myself. Ten minutes before I knew they would be putting out the afternoon coffee break, I told myself I wasn’t going to eat anything. Yet, 10 minutes later, I was the first one out of the classroom door at break so I could grab a cookie before they were all gone. Sick.
What's wrong with me??? I feel so weak. I should be able to be away for a few days without losing control, but apparently I can't yet. I guess I just need to keep working at it.
I'm feeling a little down right now, but I'll be better tomorrow. I would like to thank everyone who commiserated with me and encouraged me after my previous "cookie" post. It makes me feel good to know you are all out there pulling for me.
See you tomorrow!
I guess I just need to keep working at it.
ReplyDeleteyou do. but we all do. for me it is a daily choice and, on the days I dont make the choice Id have preferred, I get up the next day and try to choose differently!
you can do this...
MizFit
Honey, you didn't lose control! Really, you didn't. Losing control would have been cookie monster like with face in the plate and crumbs shooting off the plate like mini missiles.
ReplyDeleteA couple cookies will be okay. The big thing is forgive the eating of them and move forward. Maybe an extra 5 minutes with Buster on a walk will help ease the 'grrrrr' in your head.
Big hugs!
We all need to keep working at it! You didn't loose control, one cookie doesn't equal loss of control....a dozen, ok, but one.....I don't think so. If it was me, I'd be happy with that. Besides you'll walk it off. It's progress, not perfection. I have decided that I will never, ever be perfect. Not in thhis life anyway. Pick yourself a great boss. Lighten up on yourself. Put the bat down, and step away from the bat. Quit beating yourself up. Now, I will say goodbye, and try to follow my own advice!
ReplyDeleteIt's high time that we let go of "all or nothing" thinking. You didn't blow it. You had a cookie. Today you have the opportunity to make a different choice. No one can be perfect all the time, that's the surest road to failure. I think the best that we can hope for it to be moderate and consistent.
ReplyDeletePeace.
I know EXACTLY what's wrong with you.
ReplyDeleteYou're human!!
You had a couple of cookies. Imagine a life where there were no cookies. Count them and move on. You're doing great. You've blogged about them, hopefully you enjoyed them while you were eating them...time to let them go...
These cookies will not lead you to a binge. Goodbye cookies!!
Have a great, healthy day!!
Talk to your therapist about the urges. Try to learn how to read the pre-trigger, before it is in your mouth, before you've even had that thought about getting one as soon as class was out. I have a very hard time with this as well. It very likely has nothing at all to do with food. Meditation may help redirect your unguided thoughts. Just don't beat on yourself. We're all human and you would tell any one of us not to be so hard on ourselves. *hugs*
ReplyDelete