Partying my pants off

Just when I think I've got it figured out, I have a weekend where I eat and drink too much. We had company and that of course meant lots of good food cooked by my personal chef (hub) and lots of wine. I really enjoyed myself, but I'm paying the price now. Size 12 uniform pants came out of the back of the closet again. Boo! Maybe I should have just worn the 10's anyway to punish myself. (But that's not a good attitude, is it?)

We're having more company starting this Thursday, and all the way through July 12. I'm taking off most of next week, for the 4th of July holiday (lots of parties around our neighborhood), and hub's b-day is on the 7th. Hmmm, wonder if I still have any size 14's anywhere???? Well, I don't honestly think it will get to that, but I do need to be careful.

Still, I'm going to try to enjoy myself, not get too crazy one way or the other. I'll try to keep the overeating to a minimum, and when I do eat too much, I'll try to not react by starving or obsessing or beating up on myself. I don't have another session scheduled with Dr D until mid July, but she said I could give her a call if I felt the need. Not sure I will but it helps to know she's there.

SCORE!

No, this post has nothing to do with that World Cup soccer stuff going on. I've never watched a soccer game in my life, and I'm not going to start now. I'd rather watch something much more exciting…like golf…lol.

So, last week, I was thinking about our upcoming yet still elusive summer, and summer clothing, and that I have nothing to wear. (I've given away most of my summer clothes from last year.) I'm talking about casual stuff, shorts and capris, because that's really about all I need, we never do anything fancy that I would need "nice" summer clothes.

When I was at the class last Friday down by the airport, on the way home I stopped at Walmart in Renton. I love Walmart! Sadly, there's no Walmart in the area I live, which is Bill Gates Microsoft upscale yuppie country, aka the snooty "Eastside" (meaning across Lake Washington, east of Seattle). I ended up buying 4 pairs of really cute shorts for $10 each, and 3 tops for $5 each. So I felt like I really scored. Yay, Walmart!

THEN! I was cleaning out my downstairs closet, I came across a box of clothing that contained about a dozen pairs of capris! They were from about the same time as the Holy Grail jeans I wrote about in March, so they are a little dated in style. I'm sure I just put them away when they got too tight. But they all fit now so I'm still going to wear them. So that was another SCORE!

As for that elusive summer weather…We actually got up to the high 70s today! I took a 40 minute walk after work and was actually sweating when I got done. That's the first time this year that's happened and it felt good. The forecast has mixed sun and showers over the next few days…I can live with that as long as it's not more dreary gloomy never-ending rain.

Happy Father's Day in Heaven

I still miss you, Dad, so much, every day

Love, Grace

(Here's a post I wrote about my Dad in August of 2009)

F’ing rain, f’ing slugs

We have had literally one and a half nice days in the last 3 weeks, the rest has been rain rain rain. My poor tomatoes and pepper plants look pathetic, they are just not getting enough sun.

Along with the rain comes…slugs. Lot of slugs. The more rain, the more slugs. I hate the SOB’s. They are just f’ing gross. And they will munch on just about any plant they can get their teeth on. Well, I don’t know that they actually have teeth, but they are voracious. Usually they only come out in the night, but with all the rainy gloominess, they have been out during the daytime too. Ugh. So, I put slug bait all around my tomatoes, peppers, strawberries, hostas, and various other plants in my yard and my garden. But they have never been very attracted to my herbs...I’ve never had them eat my rosemary, thyme, oregano, sage, mint, etc. So I don’t usually worry about them eating the herbs.

Big mistake. For the first time this year, I added 2 large dill plants to my herb garden, but I didn’t put any slug bait around them. When I went out a few days ago to look around, my dill plants were GONE. Not a stalk, not a stem, not a leaf, not a frond was left. Slugs had eaten my dill down to the roots below the soil. After saying a few choice f-words for the benefit of the slugs, I put slug bait around where the plants used to be, in the hopes that the roots are still viable and something might grow back. But I guess that’s kind of like closing the barn door after the horse is gone.

Our party on Sunday was a big success…the theme was a tribute to New Orleans. We had champagne cocktails to start (using a recipe with Peychaud’s bitters), and hub cooked gumbo and made muffalettas just like they make at Central Grocery in NO (using his own olive salad recipe on foccacia bread that he baked himself). For dessert I baked a sweet potato pecan pie with Chantilly creme. We had lots of fun, and our guests left well-fed and happy.

I was happy too…until I loaded up the dishwasher about 10 p.m., turned it on, and…got an error message. I couldn’t get it to work, and neither could hub. And I couldn’t stand the idea of all those dirty dishes (especially dishes that had “fishy” food in them) setting in my kitchen even overnight. So I stayed up until 1:30 a.m. handwashing them. The repair person didn’t get out to our house until Tuesday, so it was just as well.

Anyway, I was exhausted from a day of getting ready for the party and then cleaning up afterward. But on the positive side...Here’s a screen shot of that day's activity…I burned almost 3,200 calories that day and did almost 16,000 steps. Cleaning house is definitely good for burning calories.

Now for an NSV:
Today I attended a change-of-command ceremony at a nearby fire department, so I wore my dress uniform (which I don’t wear very often). One of the women I work with made the comment “oh my god, I can’t believe how tiny you are!” Now, “tiny” is not a word I would ever use to describe myself...lol…I am 5’9” and around 160 lbs. But I am smaller than I’ve been, and my dress uniform shows that off to best advantage, I guess. In any case, the fact that someone would describe me as "tiny" really made my day. It certainly makes me more confident and comfortable with my body.

I have to work again tomorrow (attending some training), so I won't be able to walk B. I'll have to make it up to him on Saturday. Pray for SUN!!!!

A Good Day

I don't normally work on Fridays, but the fact is…Fridays are a good day to be at the office. It's always very quiet, it seems like there aren't many people at work, and not many customers come in for permits or to ask questions. So, it's quiet and a good day to get a lot of work done. Plus we get to wear jeans on Fridays... and apparently it's also "Aloha Shirt" day. I didn't know that, so I was the only person not wearing an Aloha shirt. I felt so unfashionable (not really). I do actually have several Aloha shirts that I could have worn. So, next time I work on a Friday…I'll gonna be IN STYLE. lol.

I usually allow myself 2 cocktails on Friday night. I like rum, so right now I'm having a pina colada. But this pina colada is made with Cascade Ice mixer, and is only 2 calories…and it's really good! I've tried several of the Cascade Ice drinks, which I often drink instead of diet soda. I think it's healthier because it's basically carbonated water with juice (I like the Cherry Guava and Wild Berry). But the "mixer" line is new. You should try them if you can find them in your area.

Have you ever seen a program on Discovery Health channel called "Hoarding: Buried Alive"? It's on TV right now...it's awful to see the problems that hoarders (and their families) live with. No reason for bringing this up, except I'm thankful that this is one mental health issue I don't have.

It's been raining so much the past few weeks that our dock is under water. I am so SICK of the rain. But the weatherperson says it is going to be nice this weekend (YES!), so tomorrow I'll take the dogs for "the Big Walk" at the trail park. I really, really, really hope the weather improves, because we are having a small dinner party on Sunday night. It would be nice if it wasn't RAINING for once and we could actually sit out on our deck for a change.

Pam called this morning... and Olive and Kermit are going home a day early…on Sunday morning! So Buster will get his house back soon. And it will be good if they are not underfoot while Hub is trying to cook for the party and I'm trying to make our house look nice.

Well, I'm all over the board tonight (must be the rum), but it's good to be home, and starting my weekend. See you later!

(P.S. I'm having trouble with adding pictures to my posts...I actually had to delete a photo of our dock because it totally screwed up my post...is this a "bug" of the new Blogger design feature? 8:20 p.m. Okay I put the photo back in but it's not working right...You can't click on it and make it bigger so I don't know what's going on. 9 p.m. Okay...I changed over to Firefox instead of Safari to add the picture, and now the photo can be enlarged when you click on it. Computer stuff...who the hell understands it beside computer geeks?...?... AAARRGH!)

New Blogger Template Design Feature

Has anyone else checked out the new "design" feature for templates on Blogger? It's so easy and fun! I've been trying all the options and I'm still experimenting, so you may see a lot of different looks in the next day or two.

It Wasn't as Bad as I Thought It Would Be

I weighed myself this morning...I couldn’t wait until tomorrow...and currently I am up 1 lb. from last Friday. So, that means I did gain a few while at the beach. But I used my head for once, and on Tuesday morning, I immediately went to the back of my closet and got out my size 12 uniform pants, rather than put on the 10’s I've been wearing recently. The 12’s fit comfortably, and I didn’t feel like I was stuffed into them, which I probably would have felt like in the 10’s. So because the pants were comfortable, I didn’t obsess about what I’d gained. And since I’ve been back on my normal eating plan, I’ll probably be back to 163 and into my size 10’s by Monday.

Kermit and Olive are really sweet. They are much better behaved than they were last year when we babysat them. Of course, they are more mature, and I think Pam has been working hard on their training. Kermit is super-mellow and likes to lie on a pillow by the window and look outside. I think he would be content to do that all day, and if a squirrel walked by, well that would be gravy (squirrel gravy!). Olive, on the other hand, is more demanding of attention. She wants to sit next to me on the couch, and wants me to pet her, and Buster is not happy about that. Nope.not.happy.at.all. Poor little guy. He was okay with “sharing” while we were at the beach, but now that "those other dogs" are in HIS house, his nose is a little out of joint. I try to give him some extra special attention, but it's obvious he's still pissed off.

I forgot to mention…I got a Bodybugg a few weeks ago! I got one with a pink frame, and it’s very cool. It’s fun to know more specifically what activities burn calories. Working out at the gym is good, walking is good, but the best exercise of all…is GARDENING! I was amazed at how many calories per hour I burn gardening. The best part is it is something I enjoy (much more than going to the gym), I can do it all day (and often do), and when I’m done I have something to show for it (a beautiful yard). Here’s a screen shot of a weekend day when I spent a lot of time outside gardening….it's kind of hard to see, but all the spiky lines in the middle of the day were when I was working in the yard. (In case you are wondering, I don't log my food on the Bodybugg program, because it's easier to keep track separately.)

I have to work tomorrow, to make up for taking Monday off because I don’t want to use a vacation day. It's going to be a busy summer with a lot of company and parties, so I want to save my vacation days for that. Anyway, working tomorrow is kind of a bummer, because I love having Fridays off. And I’d prefer to stay home and get some stuff done, walk the dogs, etc. Oh, well, I can do that on Saturday, I guess.

Well, that’s it for now. Have a great weekend!

Home from the Beach

Well, we are home now...home sweet home. The drive back took about 2-1/2 hours. The dogs were just pooped, so they slept most of the way home.

I was surprised at how well Pam and I got along all weekend. Not that either of us are high-maintenance, or hard to get along with, but we seemed to both like to do the same stuff…walk on the beach with the dogs, watch HGTV and TLC, spend time on the computer, read, sleep. Yep, we are both totally boring so very compatible...lol. The cabin was really funky and dog-friendly. It was full of bullet-proof furniture that had obviously seen lots of other dog action. (I chuckled at my friend Tammy's comment on my previous post...Ha ha...For $100 a night, you too can stay in a two-bedroom "oceanside villa" in Ocean Shores, Washington! If you stay two nights, they give you the third night free! But you have to do your own dishes and take out your own garbage.) The weather was pretty good most of the weekend, even though it rained a little bit Sunday morning. But it was generally nice, a bit overcast, not too windy. And of course, Saturday was beautiful...the day of the kite festival.

We tried to eat healthy, and usually started out the day with good intentions...breakfast was yogurt, fruit, and granola. However, the days usually degenerated into…well, typical vacation food. We ate hamburgers and french fries for lunch one day, pizza for dinner the first night, Mexican the next, dungeness crab legs swimming in butter along with a big baked potato last night...and I have a vague recollection of some fudge and ice cream in there somewhere! I'm not going to weigh until next Friday, after a few days back on a schedule of normal eating and working out. No sense in torturing myself with bad news. The upside is, we did a LOT of walking, and I was happy with how Buster did. I was sure to give him his anti-inflammatory twice a day, and he was able to keep up pretty well. Pam and I both kept an eye on his limping, so when he started walking a little stiff-legged, we'd turn around and go back to the cabin. After 4 days of walks, he really seemed to get stronger and have more stamina. He was so joyful and playful, so were Kermit and Olive. You can see in the videos...it did my heart good to see such happy little dogs.

At the risk of boring you all to death, here are 3 short videos I took this weekend. (Please excuse the silly baby-talk voice I use when I talk to the dogs, as well as the finger at the top of the screen in the last video...I could kick myself for doing that!)

Kite festival...don't get dizzy!

Sand castle "destructo-dogs"

Last walk on the beach this morning

And the fun isn't over yet! Kermit and Olive will be staying with us until next Monday while Pam and her husband and daughter go to Oregon for a week. Yay!

Life's a Beach

Just a quick post...my friend and I are having a great time. In spite of what the weatherperson predicted, the weather is perfect! Sunny and about 65 degrees.

We've walked on the beach a few times, which of course the dogs love. They get to be off-leash and run to their hearts' content. There is also an international kite festival going on.

The cabin we are staying at is right on the beach, so close that you can see some of the big kites from our front window. The beaches here (in Ocean Shores, Washington) are a little different from many beaches, so when I say we are "right on the beach," it's still a little bit of a hike to actually get to the ocean. There is a lot of grassland and thicket with paths worn in the brush to lead the way there.

We've been eating junk food which neither of us normally eats at home...pizza, potato chips, ice cream. Love it! It feels good to just be relaxed about eating and not stressing about being "on a diet."

My friend has a fancy new Nikon camera, but she hasn't figured out yet how to transfer the pics off her camera onto her laptop. When she does, I'll post some better pictures. In the

meantime, here's are a few pics I took with my Blackberry.

Three little doggie butts in a row on the trail to the beach

Down on the beach

I also have a few videos I took with my ipod, but the internet is very slow here. I'm not complaining, because at least we do have it. But it took forever just to download these 2 pics onto blogger, so I'll post the videos later (probably after I get home).

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Old blog posts

I just noticed some of my older posts from my previous blog are showing up as "new" on blogroll. It must have something to do with having imported them all yesterday into this new blog.

Weird.

Girlz-n-Dogz weekend!

My friend Pam and I are headed to the beach this weekend, with Buster, Kermit and Olive. It's raining so hard right now…I sure hope it clears up a bit. The forecast is for rain and wind today, but better for Saturday and Sunday. Fingers crossed! It's not especially fun to be cooped up all day with 3 high-energy dogs.

Not sure if I'll have internet access where we are staying. It's a kind of rustic place with little A-frame cottages right on the beach. So if you don't hear from me for a few days, it's not because I've disappeared again. :)

I'll try to get some pics of our weekend, and post them next week. Right now I've got to get packed and clean out the car so there is room for everyone.

Thank you all for your comments on my return. It really feels good to be back.

New Blog, New Start

Hello friends!

Thank you for following me to my new blog! Yes, I know it looks a lot like the old one (because I really did like the way that blog looked). I’ve even carried over all the posts and comments from the old blog because what I wrote and the helpful feedback I got were a large part of the healing process I've gone through over the past 1-1/2 years.

But I wanted a new name for my blog. For one thing, I’m not 55 anymore. I am still alive (at least most of the time...haha), but my focus is not “losing it” (weight) anymore.

And, yes, my name is really Grace…it's not Graciela. I think some of you probably knew that, or at least guessed at it. I don’t even look like a “Graciela”! (I'm strawberry blonde with lots of freckles..but my husband is Hispanic and he calls me Graciela). So it was a good nom de plume, for a while, but it’s not my real name. I don’t want to hide behind pseudonyms anymore. I like my real name...and I want to be me! Sounds like a song I’ve heard somewhere. I want to be me! I want to be ME! (Oh, I guess the song was "I Gotta Be Me" ...whatever.)

So, as I said, I’m not very interested in losing weight anymore. For one thing, my weight seems to have stabilized at 163. I've been around that weight now for 3 months. That's the longest I've ever stayed at any particular weight since I've been an adult. Sure, I could still stand to lose another couple of pounds, but I’m very comfortable at 163. Even better, with all the therapy and working on my emotional issues, I seem to have found some peace which has significantly lessened my desire for compulsive binge eating. I realized...I really was using food to comfort myself and deal with stress.

The fact is...the thing I mostly still need to work on is...Body Image. I still struggle with obsessive thoughts about my weight and my size...I'm so fat...I look terrible...What do people think of how I look?...What do people think about what I weigh?...Do they think I’m fat?…and on and on...and on.

For those of you who have followed me for a while, you may remember Dr D, my therapist. Recently, she had me do an exercise where I was supposed to make a note every time I thought about my weight or what I look like. So I had a little pad of paper where I made a mark every time my weight either briefly crossed my mind, or whenever I actually formulated a negative weight- or appearance-related thought. To be honest, the number was shocking. In 8 hours, it was over 100 times...and after that I lost track! Yes, friends...in 8 hours, I thought about what I weigh or what I look like over 100 times. Ridiculous.

What a sad waste of emotional energy! How much better could that energy have been spent?

But sadly, when I was growing up, that’s what my mom’s focus was…what we weighed and what we looked like. She had Borderline Personality Disorder, as well as anorexia. She also drank a lot, and was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive. So I had a very chaotic, traumatic childhood, and the only thing that I could control was what I ate and what I weighed. And dieting and losing weight (and crazy, disordered eating) was one of the only ways I could bond with my mom. So, at various times, I've been...anorexic...or bulimic...or a compulsive eater. I've never been extremely overweight...but I've always been extremely overweight in my mind.

Now I’m 57 years old, and I’m finally working through my childhood issues. But I don’t want to LIVE in the past, so all that garbage won't be the focus of this blog. Yes, those things must be a little part, because that’s helped make me who I am today. But the main focus will be to be healthy and have fun and share my life (however boring it is) with you, my blogging friends. And I’ve realized I need to lower my expectations for “feedback.” I love to get comments (because feedback feeds my ego) but the bottom line is…I realize my posts will not always be amazing, wonderful, interesting, or “comment worthy.” So I shouldn't always expect comments.

So, I will be posting again regularly…and I hope you all will follow me as I continue on my merry way! Thanks for being there.