Sorry I've been too busy to post. I spent the weekend working outside, and I tend to get a bit compulsive to the point that hub has to yell at me "Don't wear yourself out!" "COME INSIDE AND EAT SOMETHING!" and (my personal favorite) "IT'S GETTING DARK, ARE YOU INSANE?"
The answer is "Yes, a little" but I don't think quite as much as a while ago. *smile* I just get so caught up in the process of planting and weeding and making everything look nice. At least this insanity is rather productive.
I've been thinking a bit more about posting pictures, but I'm still somewhat uncomfortable with the idea of putting recognizable pictures of myself on the internet. After all, this blog is where I display all the anger and grief and just plain crap that I've held inside for so long. I'd constantly be worried that someone would recognize me. Considering some of the stuff I've written, I'm not sure that would be too good for either my marriage or my professional image. I'm okay with some distance shots, so I'll put a few of those up on my photo blog.
BUT...If you want to see some absolutely adorable doggie pics, go to my other blog. Pretty cute, huh?
Take care, everyone. I'll try to post again soon. 
Today was a good day. B & I went on the big walk, then I worked in the yard all day. It was warm and sunny, and I got a lot done, so I have a feeling of accomplishment now. And my tomatoes are doing wonderfully.
This rest of this post is gonna be a mishmash of thoughts...
Wednesday's session with Dr D
A bit more of the usual. I told Dr D I feel like a big "bawl baby" whenever I see her, but she said that's okay. She says I have a lot to be sad about, and her office is a safe place to express that sadness. I did also tell her about my binge on Monday. She pressed me a bit on on what exactly I meant by a binge. When I told her that I had eaten two packages of peanut butter cups, she kind of raised her eyebrows. "That's what you consider a binge?" I think her point was, I am so hard on myself. Two packages of peanut butter cups really doesn't constitute a binge. Just like eating a few cookies a few months ago wasn't really a binge. For me, not being perfect is a binge. But that's not realistic. Dr D gives me a reality check.
Fireworks
I hate them. They are SOOOOOO much freaking work for me. Personal fireworks are banned in the town I work, but not in the surrounding unincorporated area which my fire department serves for fire suppression. So we still need to be prepared for what can happen when idiots use fireworks. I usually spend the better part of the week before July 4th doing paperwork, memos, answering questions from the public, etc, about fireworks. Yuck. Plus B absolutely hates them too. He is a basket case if he even hears one pop far in the distance. On the 4th I always drug him up with Valium, otherwise I'm afraid he'll have a heart attack...
Blackberry?
My current cell phone works okay, but I can't get work emails on it. My boss has a Blackberry Curve, and she said she'd support me to get a Blackberry. I'm looking at the new Blackberry Storm. Does anyone else have one of these? Ms. Trueheart, I know you just lost your Crackberry, and I'm curious what you are getting as a replacement.
Well, that's all that's on my mind at the moment. Nothing very interesting. It's supposed to be nice again tomorrow so I'll probably take B for another walk and work outside some more. I hope everyone has fun plans for the weekend. Take care.
I'd love to post some photos on my photo blog that include other people, but is that okay? I'm not as worried about maintaining my own anonymity as I am about that of my friends. Does anyone have any thoughts on that? Before posting a photo do you get permission from your friends that are in the photo? To be honest, that's one reason I haven't posted a lot of personal photos so far. And if I have to get permission, I probably won't post them since I've not shared this blog with anyone I know.
I'd really like to know how others look at this. Thank you!
I've started my new photo blog. I don't have much there yet, but I'll work on it. I did one post just to get started (click on the title of this post or here to take you there).
The Trip
We left about 10 a.m. on Friday morning, and had a fun drive to Ocean Shores. Kermit & Olive are not as used to being in the car as B is, so they were a little anxious. And B is not used to having to share “his” car with other dogs, so he kept wanting to get in the front seat (“What the heck am I doing back here with these DOGS?”) But after about a half hour, the 3 of them calmed down and went to sleep. About 1 o'clock, we stopped at a Jack in the Box and had burgers for lunch. And Pam & I shared an order of mini-churros…OMG they were so good. Fried dough stuffed with cinnamon sugar filling...what's not to love.
It rained off and on the whole way, and when we got to Ocean Shores, it was still raining and the wind was blowing like crazy. We checked into our condo (very nice 2 BR with kitchen & living room) then we braved the weather and took the dogs for a half-hour walk on the beach, which was all Pam and I could stand. The sand was blowing in our faces and it was so cold and wet...I started thinking “uh oh, we are going to be stuck inside the whole weekend.” We ate crap for dinner (chips and I don’t remember what else), watched TV a bit, then went to bed about 10.
Imagine my surprise when I took B out Saturday morning. Although it was a bit overcast, it was dead calm and about 65 degrees. After breakfast of cereal & yogurt (trying to be healthy) Pam and I walked to a Tully’s a few blocks away to get coffee then down to the beach where we walked for at least an hour. It's always fun to see the reactions that people have when they see these 3 adorable little dogs together. People think they are puppies, or they think B is K & O's mom since he is a few pounds heavier and a bit taller than K & O. Then we got cleaned up and went exploring the area. There was an “interpretive center” (another word for museum of old weird stuff) at the end of the spit. It was full of taxidermed animals from days long past and the whole thing creeped me out so much, I couldn’t stay inside. However, Pam talked to the lady at the center, who told her about how Ocean Shores was a mecca for celebrities in the 1960’s. Pat Boone used to have a golf tournament there. I had no idea. The lady also told her about nearby nature walk through a mini rain forest, which was pretty cool. It took about 45 minutes, and we saw raccoons and deer…and mosquitoes (I got bit about 10 times on my neck). By then it was way past lunchtime, so we stopped and got crab cocktails and 3-cheese bagels, which were so good. Then we went shopping at a few cute stores and bought some funny cards and scented soaps, etc. After that we went back to the condo where "everyone" took about an hour nap, which was heavenly.
That night we went to dinner at a local diner which was packed. Steaks and mashed potatoes, and veggies which I didn’t eat because hub wasn’t there to say “you should eat your vegetables.” And apple caramel bread pudding with ice cream for dessert.
The next day it was beautiful again, so we walked to McDonalds for breakfast (sausage McMuffins, hashbrowns, and coffee), then down to the beach again for another hour walk. Checkout time was noon, so we packed up and headed home. Of course, we had to have ice cream cones for the road. The dogs were totally exhausted, so they all slept on the way home like they were dead. And it rained again! We stopped along the way at a Burger King, and I decided to try to eat healthy so I ordered a fish sandwich…yes I know, this was a total joke, a fried fish sandwich was 630 calories; plus fries.
(At this point, I’d like to interject a small rant…Pam is pretty skinny yet she eats like a horse. It’s not fair. And she eats everything she orders, down to scraping the plate until it's clean...just kidding, but close...meanwhile I pick and move the food around and take home at least half, probably because I'm still not that comfortable eating in public. Yet I'm the one with weight issues.)
When I got home, hub told me that it had rained the whole weekend there, so we were incredibly lucky to have nice weather at the beach. It definitely was a fun weekend, and we talked non-stop about everything.
Pam took tons of pictures which she said she will e-mail me. I’ve been thinking the best way to display the pictures is on a separate photo blog… I can put all the pictures from the last few weeks on this blog. I’ll spend a bit of time setting that up tonight.
Monday
I want to admit to a small binge I had yesterday. I had been in meetings all day, with more to come. (I sometimes think if I didn't have meetings, I could actually
get something done.) It was about 2 p.m. and I had a few minutes in between meetings to get to the drugstore to pick up a prescription. On my way I started thinking about candy. If I could have candy, what would I choose? I tried to push the thought away. Well, on my way to the prescription counter, I went through the candy aisle and picked up 2 packages of Reese’s peanut butter cups. I didn’t even hesitate. I wanted them and I was going to have them. I ate them in the car on the way back to work…440 calories for 2 packs.WTF??? I had already eaten everything in my lunch box, plus an extra snack bar, so it probably wasn’t real hunger. Afterwards I tried to analyze why I NEEDED them. I wasn’t upset, I wasn’t sad, I wasn’t mad about anything…the only thing I can come up with is…I was tired both emotionally and physically.
I first, I thought, well maybe it was all the walking we did, and not getting as much sleep as usual, and the 3 hour drive each way. I honestly didn’t drink much, because Pam doesn’t drink at all…so it wasn’t any sort of “hangover” tiredness. Then I thought...it's all the meetings so I haven't had a chance to slow down today. I know from experience that when I am tired (as I mentioned in an earlier post) I tend to have sugar cravings which are hard to control. But that just didn't seem like the whole story..why was I SO exhausted? So I thought about it some more, and here is what I decided:While the weekend was really fun, I think I felt a bit on edge the whole time. Being around another person that I don’t really know that well (even though she is SO nice) and feeling like I had to be sociable all the time was a bit stressful. I just didn’t get to mentally veg out like I usually do on the weekend. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m really a loner and don’t have many friends. So it definitely was a stretch for me to do this, and I’m glad I went. I need to do things like this in order to grow as a person.
So, I went to bed last night as soon as I got home from my meeting, and I feel much better today with no binge cravings. Another epiphany? Awareness is Power. Dr D is going to hear about this.
Yes, my friend & I & the dogs had a truly GRRRReat weekend! Unfortunately, I’m in meetings all day and also tonight from 6:30-9:30, so this is just a quick post to let you know I’ll fill in the details tomorrow.
Have a good day!
Food for Thought:
Fatinah left a comment on my last post, which I really appreciated, that I should be careful not to use divorce as a threat. This is very wise counsel. It was another angle to the situation on Monday that I hadn’t thought of.
But was it just an idle threat, to get what I want or to make him pay attention to me? No, it wasn’t. To be truthful, I have thought of divorce off and on for many years, but only when he is treating me badly, which is sporadic. Then things are good for a while (months, even), and the thought leaves my mind.
This is the first time in 16 years of marriage (we’ve been together since 1988) that I’ve ever said “divorce” out loud. When I said it on Monday night, I really meant it. It was the first time…I think in my whole life…that I had actually let myself feel that angry and express it. If he had not stopped his mean talk, I know I would have left that night. And he is apparently smart enough to know that when I reacted the way I did, that something was different. He knew I meant it. I could see by the way he responded, differently than he had ever responded before, that he was afraid.
Now I’m working on ways to either make sure it doesn’t happen again, or to deal with it in a positive fashion when it does. I feel much better prepared since I discussed it with Dr D. I’m not sure I could ever get hub to go into marriage counseling, but I’m definitely understanding him better. On my own, I think I can make it better.
Weight Loss:
I’ve started weighing myself again. But for some reason I’m not scared or crazy when I do, and I only do it occasionally. (Again, therapy apparently is helpful.) I weighed right before I went on vacation (173); immediately post vacation (176). A gain of 3 lbs! …but my first thought was, hey, only 3 lbs..that’s GOOD! I didn’t freak out over gaining 3 lbs! I was proud of myself for that.
Then I noticed my pants were baggy this morning, so I weighed myself…172 (that’s 4 lbs lost in 4 days). Seriously, I don’t know what’s going on, except that food has not been very appealing lately (other than the cookies the other day) maybe from stress. With a somewhat vague final goal of 160-165, that means I only have between 7-12 lbs left to lose. Whatever. It’s just a number. And I promise I won't weigh myself again at least until next Friday...don't want to slip back into old bad habits of weighing constantly or being afraid to weigh at all.
Now for the FUN STUFF: GIRLZNDOGZ!!!
Girlzndogz are going to the beach this weekend! That's Pam and I, with Buster, Olive, and Kermit. We are going to Ocean Shores and have rented a 2 bedroom condo right on the beach. We are going to walk on the beach with the dogs, and just generally kick back for 2 days. (And it will be an opportunity to give hub and me some space, so we can start fresh next week.) I think there might be a few adult beverages consumed. The weather looks like a mixed bag, but who cares. Whoo Hoo! I'm doing the happy dance!
I was in a bit of a funk yesterday after Monday's blowup with hub. I was glad to be at work, which took my mind off my problems. However, on the way home, I was picking up something at the drugstore, and when I was standing in the checkout line, I realized that "magically" a package of cookies had appeared in my basket. I ate them in the car on the way home, and then hid the wrapper in the outside garbage container. Yes, it is so obvious that I eat from emotions. At least it was only one package of cookies (340 calories…as I ate them, I looked at the nutritional info). So today I talked to Dr D about "the incident" on Monday.
Anyway, we had a good discussion, I shed a few tears and had a few epiphanies, and then we talked about ways to handle this type of situation in the future. I definitely do not want a divorce, all I want is for my husband to not fly off the handle over trivial stuff and then say things that make me feel bad about myself. And it is only trivial things that he blows up about. He never gets mad when something big or serious happens (like when I dented one of our cars by hitting it with our other car...resulting in two dented cars. He told me not to get upset, it was just cars which can be fixed). But when he does blow up, the way he talks to me is abusive. I don't think I ever thought of it like that before; Dr D says people from abusive childhood situations tend to normalize the abnormal. (Just to be perfectly clear…Hub has never been physically violent, and as I told Dr D, it might have almost been easier if he were, because then for sure I would know what I had to do…i.e. leave.)
I think almost everyone has experienced some abuse growing up. At least I think it is more common than not. I know my husband grew up in an abusive household, from what little he has told me…and that’s not much because he says he doesn’t want to dwell on the past. His siblings are all pretty crazy, if you ask me. Both sisters are extremely overweight, and his brothers are just plain nuts (if you’re wondering…that’s a technical term). Actually they both kind of creep me out and have weird mannerisms and lifestyles. I've always thought hub is the most normal of the bunch...but obviously something was wrong in that house that affected him to some extent.
So I have empathy for his anger issues, but I'm starting to realize that I can’t tolerate his talking to me in an abusive way. Dr D also says sometimes when a person is in therapy and starts to deal with her/her issues, their tolerance for being treated badly goes down. I think that’s what’s happening with me. This is the first time I have ever screamed at the top of my lungs at hub, which is why I think he was so shocked.
Among other things, Dr D and I discussed some strategies for dealing with the situation if (when) it happens again, so I’m feeling much better about that. (I’d just like to interject here that Dr D is amazing. She is the first person I’ve ever felt truly safe with…even with previous therapists I didn’t feel that way. That's why I write about her with such reverence.) The bottom line is, hub and I need to start communicating better, and our relationship has to change. Or, sad as it will be, the marriage will have to end.
But the dog goes with me.
Today was an okay day which turned into a very bad evening. It was good to get back to work, but of course I was just swamped. I didn’t leave the office from the time I got to work about 7:30 until 3:30 when I had to leave for a dental appointment at 4. I had packed my lunch, but I was so busy I didn’t even eat some of it. So I guess I was probably a bit calorie deficient. The teeth cleaning went well, and I got home about 5:30.
I was absolutely famished at that point. I had bought some low-fat peanut butter yesterday at Trader Joe’s, which I had put in the cupboard. I thought I’d have some on a cracker to tide me over until dinner. It wasn’t in the cupboard so I looked through the refrigerator but didn’t see it. I asked hub where it was, and he said “in the refrigerator.” Since I’d already looked for it, I politely asked “on the door or on the shelf?” He yelled at me “It’s in the refrigerator…it’s not that big of a refrigerator!”
I don’t know if I mentioned that hub sometimes is rather short with me, and sometimes treats me like I’m not too bright. This type of thing had happened a few times on vacation…we kind of quarreled a few times, but I usually just let it roll off my back. Hub’s MO has always been that the person who yells the loudest wins the argument. Usually he yells, then when I tell him to not yell at me, he denies he yelled, then I just shut up, and we get over it, and get back to normal.
To make a long story short…Not tonight. I came unglued. I snapped back…his thing lately is to tell me to take a pill (meaning a “hormone pill,” implying that all my problems are hormonal, nothing to do with his treatment of me). When he said that this time, I yelled… “No pill is gonna make it okay for you to yell at me and disrespect me!” When he started to come back with his usual denials of yelling (while yelling), I screamed so loudly I think I scared him… “Stop disrespecting me!” Then I got very quiet and I looked him right in the eye and very calmly said…”I want a divorce.” I think that freaked him out and rather than escalating the situation like he usually does, he started telling me “calm down, calm down…”
Now, friends, this is not my style. I’m usually very easy going and I don’t pick fights, but for some reason tonight, I’d had it. I was literally stomping around and cursing. It may have been the non-stop togetherness for the past 3 weeks, making me more sensitive to the way he talks to me; it may have been the Wellbutrin, (I read one of the rare side effects is irritability or even rage); maybe I was just too hungry; or maybe a combination of everything.
I went into the bedroom and cooled off for about half an hour, now we apparently have an unspoken truce.
But I just don’t know. I love him but honestly...he really is not very nice to me sometimes. I’d rather be alone than in a bad relationship. I really need to think about this.
The weather was very rainy when we left Sun Valley yesterday, so rather than take a longer scenic route home as originally planned, we decided to just go freeway all the way. We drove through Boise, through Oregon to the Tri Cities then on I-90 home.
About 3o miles before Yakima, B started acting weird. I know my dog so well that any slight deviation from his normal behavior puts me on alert. Normally he will sleep non-stop in the back of the car (his spot), but he started standing up and just looking at me. Then he wanted to sit on my lap…another thing he never wants to do in the car… so I brought him up with me and he insisted that I pet pet pet him. I told hub we should stop, but there wasn’t a proper “rest stop” for another hour. The fact is, we could have stopped about 50 different places along the way. I had told hub that B wasn’t acting right, but he just pooh-poohed me. “He looks okay to me.” Well, when we finally did stop at a rest stop on the far side of Yakima, I took B over to the pet area where he proceeded to have major diarrhea for about 10 minutes. Poor B! Bad Hub! Thankfully B seemed fine the rest of the way home.
Couple this incident with being confined for 12 hours in a car with a man who likes to drum on the steering wheel and sing along (poorly I might add) with songs on his iPod…Yes, I love hub, but the CIA should look into this as an alternative to waterboarding. On second thought, there's no question that this would be defined as torture! By the time we got home, I wasn't sure whether I wanted to commit suicide or murder (although I doubt any jury in the world would have convicted me of murder...clearly it would have been self defense). When we finally got home about 9:30, I felt like a zombie and just wanted to be alone, so we unloaded the car and then I went right to bed
This morning, I started thinking about all the creature comforts I missed about home
1. My "Sleep Number" bed
2. My very fast, very reliable wi-fi
3. My big screen TV with digital cable, universal remote, DVR and endless channels
4. My coffee machine that uses pods to make one single delicious cup of coffee at a time
Yes, I am shallow and materialistic...I admit it! (lol)
Today is a day of taking care of a few chores in advance of going back to work tomorrow. The weather is beautiful, a little overcast, but not too hot…it's very pleasant. We need to buy groceries and get caught up on 3 weeks of mail, and I need to do some weeding around my tomato plants. I really am glad we decided to drive on through so I have a chance to decompress and re-acclimate before going back to work tomorrow. I'm also really looking forward to getting back on a normal workout schedule and healthy food plan.
Thank you to everyone who followed my travels. Your comments made my fun times more fun, and the not-so-fun times more bearable. Dorothy was right...there's no place like home!!!
Now we are in beautiful Ketchum, Idaho, which is part of the area known as “Sun Valley.” We are staying at a 3 bedroom condo right near the ski lifts. If it was snowing, we’d be all set!
We drove Thursday for several hours, first to the sand dunes at St. Anthony, Idaho. They are definitely HUGE and go on for miles. It made me wonder…How did these dunes get there in the middle of Idaho? I can understand how the ones near the ocean come about. Well, according to Wikipedia: “Although the most widely distributed dunes are those associated with coastal regions, the largest complexes of dunes are found inland in dry regions and associated with ancient lake or sea beds.” Anyway, we might be coming back next year with hub’s sand rail (but first he needs to get a “toy hauler”).
Then we drove from St Anthony to Sun Valley. Along the way we:
1. Drove through/around the “Idaho National Research Laboratories” reservation where they are doing energy research, including nuclear. In fact we saw a cone-shaped “something” on a big semi go past us in the other direction toward the research reservation (it looked to me like what I’d imagine would be used in a nuclear cooling tower)
2. Drove through several herds of free range cattle. The signs said “Watch for Stock” which I guess means cows, cuz cows kept crossing the road in front of us. It was funny to see these cows wander casually across the highway like they owned it. “Where does a cow cross the road? Anywhere he wants!”
3. Stopped in a restaurant called “Pickle’s Place” in Arco, Idaho. It had a huge green rocking chair outside and just caught our eye as a fun place to stop. Hub and I both had burgers, which were quite good, and fried pickles, which were delicious.
4. Drove past the national park “Craters of the Moon." It was an eerie place. It is a volcanic area where you can see how the lava flowed back millions(?) of years ago.
By the time we got to Ketchum, it was almost 5 p.m. and we had trouble finding the condo. I was totally exhausted and hub was really getting on my nerves…my eyes were so tired and dry from reading the map all day (I’m always the navigator) plus I’d forgotten to take my second dose of Wellbutrin in the early afternoon. So, as hub put it… “You’re sure in a pissy mood.” Yes Indeed! After we finally found the condo, we just had peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, and I went to bed early.
After a good night’s sleep, I felt much better yesterday morning, so I took B for a walk and then hub and I explored the area. Last night we went for dinner at the Pioneer Saloon in downtown Ketchum…I had ribs and they also brought out the biggest baked potato I’ve ever seen…It was the size of a Nerf football! I could only eat about 1/3 of it, which is unusual for me. I guess in Idaho they figure you should get a BIG potato! Then we went for drinks at the Sun Valley Lodge where they had live music in the lounge. Well, after about 20 minutes, all of a sudden the lights went out and the emergency lights came on. I looked outside and was shocked to see pouring rain and hail and lightning. I started to get worried about B by himself, as he hates thunder. So we finished our drinks and rushed back to the condo. The whole area was without power for several hours, but it came back on right before I went to bed.
Now we're getting ready to leave for Seattle this morning, which will take about 2 days. I am definitely ready to go home. I miss my house and my own bed, and this non-stop togetherness with hub is starting to get old.
The past two days were in Elko, Nevada. Now, you may ask…What the heck is in Elko, Nevada? GOLD MINING…Hub made sales calls to several mining companies. We spent 2 days driving to different mining companies and leaving information. Let me just say…I’m glad to be out of Elko for several reasons:
1. B and I didn’t get to walk either day, because of needing to take care of hub’s business commitments and because the area was not conducive to walking. It was mostly pavement around our hotel and although I don’t think it was too crime ridden, it was a little seedy. I think people go to Elko for the gambling, not the outdoor activities.
2. The wireless internet in our hotel didn’t work in our room…I actually had to sit out in the hall to get a signal and even then it was really slow. This is why I didn’t post for 2 days. I complained at the front desk, but there was a little bitchy girl who was so rude and looked at me like I was nuts when I told her I could get internet in the hallway but not in our room. She actually asked me if I was sure I had "a wireless internet chip" in my computer. Duh, like how would I have internet access in the hallway if I didn't have "a chip?"
3. I’ve been suffering from sciatica for the last few days (probably from non-stop riding in the car), so I’ve been taking hydrocodone which makes me crave sweets. The hotel had yummy peanut butter cookies in the lobby. I ate 4 (yes 4!) one after the other yesterday… which is NOT a good thing! (My sciatica is better today and I'm not taking any pain pills...so at least the extreme carb cravings have subsided.)
We went to a the Red Lion last night for dinner and then played the slots for a few minutes. We started with $20 and left with $35. That was fun but, whatever…buh bye Elko!
Today we drove to Twin Falls, Idaho. The
Shoshone Falls are spectacular! I'd love to go back and do some hiking there. They also have a very high bridge which is the only bridge in the US approved for base jumping. (Okay... as some of you know, I am a bit of an adrenaline junkie, but I'm not saying I'd want to do THAT! But I would at least like to watch.)
Hub made another couple of sales calls in the area, then we drove in the pouring rain through Pocatello and up to Idaho Falls, where we are staying tonight.
We lucked into a wonderful hotel called the Driftwood Inn (a Best Western) which is right next to the Snake River and the falls for which the town was named. Since it rained so hard during the day, the falls are just roaring tonight! Also on the other side of the river is a Mormon Temple which is lit up and very beautiful. For $89 a night, this is quite a luxurious place, with very nice rooms and a heated outdoor pool, and very pet friendly. We walked down the street to have dinner at the local brew pub (very good pizza and beer), then we came back to the took a dip in the pool. Even though it is only in the 40’s outside, the pool was so warm! (Oh, and they have superfast wi-fi.) Now that we don’t have any business schedule to keep, I’m going to take B for a walk by the river tomorrow morning.
If any of you are traveling through Idaho, I would definitely recommend this hotel. I can’t honestly remember any hotel I’ve liked as much as this one and for such a reasonable price.
I was disappointed to find out I missed the first hour of So You Think You Can Dance. Idaho is on Mountain Time, so it’s an hour later here, yet prime time TV starts at 7 p.m. MT...which means it’s really starting at 6 p.m. PT (Across the state line in Washington, the show doesn't start until 8 p.m. PT...does that make sense?) Anyway, it seemed odd to me that it started so early. Oh well, I can probably watch the first 5 performances on YouTube.
And, to Miss True Heart Girl in Jersey…I saw some highlights of today’s Red Sox game on the big screen at the brew pub tonight. I actually paid attention since I knew you liked that baseball team. Congrats on the Red Sox beating the Yankees!
Tomorrow, we are off to check out the sand dunes at St. Anthony and then on to Sun Valley, where we will be staying in a friend’s condo for 2 days. After that it’s back to Seattle and to work on Monday. Honestly, I'll be quite glad to be home.
Take care everyone, I'll try to post again from Sun Valley.
Just a quick post this morning...we're leaving Truckee and are headed to Elko, Nevada (for business, mostly).
Last night our friend took us to dinner in Reno at a Thai restaurant which was just divine. We had a whole fried fish that was so delicious...the crispy skin actually tasted like candy. Plus squid salad, phad thai, chicken with red curry, and for dessert...fried bananas with ice cream. OMG, the bananas were so wonderful!
Friends, I've GOT to stop eating like this or I'm going to explode. Maybe now that we are going to Elko where we don't know anyone, it will be easier to eat sensibly.
Well, I have to finish packing so we can get out the door soon. Once again, I don't know the internet situation where we are going, so you'll hear from me whenever I can connect next.
Take care.
We spent 2 days in Sacramento with another high school friend of hub. To be honest, it was quite depressing and I was glad to leave.
This fellow is very overweight and has diabetes (the really bad kind where he has to take insulin shots several times a day). He had lap band surgery a few years ago, but he didn’t lose any weight because he didn’t change his eating habits at all. He doesn’t like vegetables so he won't eat them, and he is a total carb addict. Well, a few months ago, he had a heart attack and almost died and had to have quadruple bypass surgery. At this point in his life, he has everything to live for…a lovely wife, grown children and several young grandchildren, who just adore him.
But he has taken no steps to improve his health. (Example: When we were there, friend’s wife fixed us breakfast…eggs & bacon & toast swimming in butter. Hub told his friend in an informational, non-judgmental way... “You know, we use turkey bacon which has less fat and sodium." His friend replied, “I don’t like turkey bacon.” End of discussion.) Far be it from me to be critical of the way anyone lives, but it was upsetting to me. This man has been given a second chance at life, yet instead of working to make that life better, he sits in his recliner and watches TV all day. He doesn’t even walk his little dog around the block...and that sweet little dog is so excited to walk that he literally dances in circles when the leash comes out. (I took the dogs for a walk by myself both days we were there.) Yes, it was very depressing…
Now we are in Truckee, California. What a beautiful area! We are staying with another buddy of hub...This is a guy hub used to work with at a gas station in San Francisco, and they have been best of friends ever since. (They often talk for hours on the phone about cars and motors...you know, guy stuff.) Hub’s friend has a mini dachshund Zoe who torments B non-stop. It is a hoot to see B chase Z around and around after she eggs him on until he finally loses it. It has been raining since we got here, but in spite of the rain, B and I took a good long walk today.
Last night we went to a party to celebrate the buddy’s daughter's high school graduation. I re-connected with several ladies that I had met back in 2003 when buddy’s (now) ex-wife had a 50th birthday girls-only weekend in Palm Springs. We were reminiscing about that weekend, and one lady said to me…”I just remember you were the smokin' hot bod in a bikini.” Now, my friends, I have NEVER owned a bikini but I do recall that one of the bathing suits I wore that weekend was a pretty modest 2 piece which I guess someone might possibly think was a bikini. Needless to say, I was so flattered to think anyone thought I had ever had a "smokin' hot bod." But in thinking about it, I probably weighed 8 lbs less then than I do now (because I’ve never weighed less than 165 at any point in the last 15 years and I weigh about 173 now). How can my mind be so screwed up? If I was a “hot bod” then (believe me, I'm not saying that was ever how I would describe myself), 8 additional lbs now doesn’t make me a “non-hot bod,” right? It makes me wonder…Why do I hate my body so much? If other people think I have/had a “hot bod,” I must at least still have an “okay” body (taking into account the aging process, of course). Hmmm, I guess I need to keep working with Dr D.
Today I ate mostly crap. Bagels and cream cheese, chips and salsa, and red velvet cake and potato salad left over from last night. Tonight we went to an Italian restaurant called Bacchi’s. I ate too much. Oh well. I have a stomach ache now, so I think I’ll go to bed. Tomorrow, I'll try to do better for my own sanity.
God Bless America on this 65th Anniversary of D-Day. Thank you to those who sacrificed so much for the freedom we enjoy today.
No work or responsibilities, sleeping until 8, walking B every day in Fort Miley (see picture...not mine, I found it on the internet...but this is exactly what it looks like), cocktails each day at 5, wonderful dinners where I don’t have to do the dishes afterwards...
Friday night we went for pizza at a place called Pizzetta 211. They make a very thin pizza and were featured in a book called “American Pie: My Search for the Perfect Pizza.” It’s not a cookbook, but rather a book about the best places in the US to get pizza. Since hub is a pizza connoisseur (he makes his own pizza dough) he has been wanting to go to this place for a long time. I had the rosemary, pancetta, and goat cheese pizza, plus a few beers. Yum!
Saturday night, hub enjoyed his reunion, and my dress fit fine. I danced a lot. My London broil was dry so I took it home to B.
Sunday, we went to visit hub’s sister in Redwood City and had a barbeque. She made the BEST potato salad I’ve ever had (but I’m not going to tell hub, who prides himself on his potato salad). The weather in Redwood City was beautiful and sunny...Unlike SF where it has been chilly and overcast every day since we got here.
Yesterday we drove to Benecia for some business. Then last night we had dinner at hub's friend’s sister who lives next door. The family is Russian so we had pierogi appetizers (I had to look up the spelling), grilled asparagus, filet mignon, scalloped potatoes, and of course lots of wine. Homemade apple tart and lemon granita for dessert, which was divine. Yes, I’m definitely getting spoiled!
Today we went to the Legion of Honor Museum and saw the Rodin exhibit and some other standing exhibits there. (So we ARE trying to do a few cultural things, rather than just eating and drinking. And I’m a bit upset because I found out that we JUST missed...literally, it ended yesterday...an exhibition of Tiffany & Lalique jewelry, & Faberge eggs. I collect antique jewelry so missing that exhibit was a major bummer!)
We just got back from dinner at an Italian restaurant called “Caesers” in the North Beach area of SF. We went with an old work acquaintance and his wife…very lovely people. I had ravioli with meat sauce. Delish.
Okay, that’s enough for now. I need to post this because first thing tomorrow we are headed for Sacramento to stay with some other friends, and I don’t know what the internet situation will be there. (Not that anyone is waiting with great anticipation for my silly posts!)
Uh oh, I'm starting to realize...this sounds like a freakin' food travelogue for the Bay area. And this used to be the weight loss blog of a former bulimic! WTF! I'm not supposed to be enjoying food this much. Unbelievable. I do hope I'm not upsetting anyone with my descriptions of the food I'm eating. So much for watching what I eat...but, the truth is, I'm having too much fun right now to care! Even though I think I've gained a few pounds, I'm not obsessed about it. This actually seems like a step in the right direction for me, mentally and emotionally. I think Dr D would be proud.
Nonetheless, in some ways, I am looking forward to getting home so I can get back to normal, healthy eating. I recognize that no one can eat like I've been eating long term and be healthy. And I feel much better when I'm eating healthy and working out. But this has sure been fun so far!
