Don't ask me what this means...it came up when I did a google image search on "Burn Out"
No, I didn’t fall off the face of the earth. I wasn't kidnapped by pirates nor stranded on a remote desert island without internet access.
I really appreciate the folks who inquired as to my well-being. Actually I’m okay. I haven’t even “fallen off the wagon” or anything like that. My weight has stayed pretty much the same for the past few months.
In fact, I had my annual physical the other day, and my doc and I had a really good conversation. She's a very nice person, kind and sincere. Even though I only see her once a year, she always wants to know how I really am. Not just physically, but emotionally. We talked about my childhood, my tendency toward depression, my history of eating disorders, and the therapy I'm in right now. I told her in spite of all the work I'm doing, I can't seem to stop thinking about my weight, and how I always think I need to lose another 5 lbs, or 10, or whatever the elusive, or potentially insane, number du jour happens to be. At which point, she told me I don't need to lose any weight. In fact, she told me not only do I not need to lose any weight, I need to stop thinking about my weight. As in..."Stop thinking about IT!" Stop worrying, stop obsessing...just STOP! Good advice, but how to go about accomplishing that? Even when I'm not weighing myself, I still think about it constantly.
Even before I went to the doctor, I had gradually come to a vague realization that I’m suffering from burn out. I realized I’m tired of thinking about dieting, tired of being on a diet, even tired of reading others “weight loss” blogs and coming up with relevant or helpful comments. I’m tired of thinking about IT…the IT that has been my constant companion since I was 10 years old. A 48-year-long obsession about something that, to be honest, has never really been that far out of whack.
All of a sudden, the idea of writing a post, especially weight related, was just exhausting. Blogging seemed to have lost its allure for me so I even briefly contemplated closing down my blog. Then I remembered how much it has meant to me, and all the nice, caring people I've met in the blogosphere. The idea of fading away totally made me feel sad. So I'm not closing down. But right now, I'm feeling like I need an emotional break from thinking about IT too much, at least for a while. And the doctor visit just confirmed what I was thinking, so on "Doctor's orders" I'm taking a break.
I’m pretty sure this respite is just temporary. I’ll be lurking about, leaving comments when I’m really inspired, and perhaps writing a post when I feel the need. When I do, the post may not...make that, probably WILL NOT...even be about weight, just life.
So, this post is just to let you all know I’m fine. I know I’ll be back, just not sure when. In the meantime, take care, everyone. Keep fighting the good fight!
In fact, I had my annual physical the other day, and my doc and I had a really good conversation. She's a very nice person, kind and sincere. Even though I only see her once a year, she always wants to know how I really am. Not just physically, but emotionally. We talked about my childhood, my tendency toward depression, my history of eating disorders, and the therapy I'm in right now. I told her in spite of all the work I'm doing, I can't seem to stop thinking about my weight, and how I always think I need to lose another 5 lbs, or 10, or whatever the elusive, or potentially insane, number du jour happens to be. At which point, she told me I don't need to lose any weight. In fact, she told me not only do I not need to lose any weight, I need to stop thinking about my weight. As in..."Stop thinking about IT!" Stop worrying, stop obsessing...just STOP! Good advice, but how to go about accomplishing that? Even when I'm not weighing myself, I still think about it constantly.
Even before I went to the doctor, I had gradually come to a vague realization that I’m suffering from burn out. I realized I’m tired of thinking about dieting, tired of being on a diet, even tired of reading others “weight loss” blogs and coming up with relevant or helpful comments. I’m tired of thinking about IT…the IT that has been my constant companion since I was 10 years old. A 48-year-long obsession about something that, to be honest, has never really been that far out of whack.
All of a sudden, the idea of writing a post, especially weight related, was just exhausting. Blogging seemed to have lost its allure for me so I even briefly contemplated closing down my blog. Then I remembered how much it has meant to me, and all the nice, caring people I've met in the blogosphere. The idea of fading away totally made me feel sad. So I'm not closing down. But right now, I'm feeling like I need an emotional break from thinking about IT too much, at least for a while. And the doctor visit just confirmed what I was thinking, so on "Doctor's orders" I'm taking a break.
I’m pretty sure this respite is just temporary. I’ll be lurking about, leaving comments when I’m really inspired, and perhaps writing a post when I feel the need. When I do, the post may not...make that, probably WILL NOT...even be about weight, just life.
So, this post is just to let you all know I’m fine. I know I’ll be back, just not sure when. In the meantime, take care, everyone. Keep fighting the good fight!
