Don't ask me what this means...it came up when I did a google image search on "Burn Out"
No, I didn’t fall off the face of the earth. I wasn't kidnapped by pirates nor stranded on a remote desert island without internet access.
I really appreciate the folks who inquired as to my well-being. Actually I’m okay. I haven’t even “fallen off the wagon” or anything like that. My weight has stayed pretty much the same for the past few months.
In fact, I had my annual physical the other day, and my doc and I had a really good conversation. She's a very nice person, kind and sincere. Even though I only see her once a year, she always wants to know how I really am. Not just physically, but emotionally. We talked about my childhood, my tendency toward depression, my history of eating disorders, and the therapy I'm in right now. I told her in spite of all the work I'm doing, I can't seem to stop thinking about my weight, and how I always think I need to lose another 5 lbs, or 10, or whatever the elusive, or potentially insane, number du jour happens to be. At which point, she told me I don't need to lose any weight. In fact, she told me not only do I not need to lose any weight, I need to stop thinking about my weight. As in..."Stop thinking about IT!" Stop worrying, stop obsessing...just STOP! Good advice, but how to go about accomplishing that? Even when I'm not weighing myself, I still think about it constantly.
Even before I went to the doctor, I had gradually come to a vague realization that I’m suffering from burn out. I realized I’m tired of thinking about dieting, tired of being on a diet, even tired of reading others “weight loss” blogs and coming up with relevant or helpful comments. I’m tired of thinking about IT…the IT that has been my constant companion since I was 10 years old. A 48-year-long obsession about something that, to be honest, has never really been that far out of whack.
All of a sudden, the idea of writing a post, especially weight related, was just exhausting. Blogging seemed to have lost its allure for me so I even briefly contemplated closing down my blog. Then I remembered how much it has meant to me, and all the nice, caring people I've met in the blogosphere. The idea of fading away totally made me feel sad. So I'm not closing down. But right now, I'm feeling like I need an emotional break from thinking about IT too much, at least for a while. And the doctor visit just confirmed what I was thinking, so on "Doctor's orders" I'm taking a break.
I’m pretty sure this respite is just temporary. I’ll be lurking about, leaving comments when I’m really inspired, and perhaps writing a post when I feel the need. When I do, the post may not...make that, probably WILL NOT...even be about weight, just life.
So, this post is just to let you all know I’m fine. I know I’ll be back, just not sure when. In the meantime, take care, everyone. Keep fighting the good fight!
In fact, I had my annual physical the other day, and my doc and I had a really good conversation. She's a very nice person, kind and sincere. Even though I only see her once a year, she always wants to know how I really am. Not just physically, but emotionally. We talked about my childhood, my tendency toward depression, my history of eating disorders, and the therapy I'm in right now. I told her in spite of all the work I'm doing, I can't seem to stop thinking about my weight, and how I always think I need to lose another 5 lbs, or 10, or whatever the elusive, or potentially insane, number du jour happens to be. At which point, she told me I don't need to lose any weight. In fact, she told me not only do I not need to lose any weight, I need to stop thinking about my weight. As in..."Stop thinking about IT!" Stop worrying, stop obsessing...just STOP! Good advice, but how to go about accomplishing that? Even when I'm not weighing myself, I still think about it constantly.
Even before I went to the doctor, I had gradually come to a vague realization that I’m suffering from burn out. I realized I’m tired of thinking about dieting, tired of being on a diet, even tired of reading others “weight loss” blogs and coming up with relevant or helpful comments. I’m tired of thinking about IT…the IT that has been my constant companion since I was 10 years old. A 48-year-long obsession about something that, to be honest, has never really been that far out of whack.
All of a sudden, the idea of writing a post, especially weight related, was just exhausting. Blogging seemed to have lost its allure for me so I even briefly contemplated closing down my blog. Then I remembered how much it has meant to me, and all the nice, caring people I've met in the blogosphere. The idea of fading away totally made me feel sad. So I'm not closing down. But right now, I'm feeling like I need an emotional break from thinking about IT too much, at least for a while. And the doctor visit just confirmed what I was thinking, so on "Doctor's orders" I'm taking a break.
I’m pretty sure this respite is just temporary. I’ll be lurking about, leaving comments when I’m really inspired, and perhaps writing a post when I feel the need. When I do, the post may not...make that, probably WILL NOT...even be about weight, just life.
So, this post is just to let you all know I’m fine. I know I’ll be back, just not sure when. In the meantime, take care, everyone. Keep fighting the good fight!
Well, you don't have to blog about weight or diets or any of that. I don't think it's in your contract ;-).
ReplyDeleteDo you think IT (the thinking about it) is a habit that can be broken? Or more to the point, how do we go about breaking obsessive-like thoughts? This is a question I am pondering myself. I wish us both luck. Please consider updating your blog sooner rather than later, but only if that's what's best for you. I shall miss you while you are away.
Yeah! I agree! If you happen to run out of "weight loss" posts then just post whatever. Heck it could be about your hobbies or even be like a daily journal. We miss you!
ReplyDeleteWell, this makes sense. A lot of sense. There is so much more in the world. So why is my weight still center stage? Maybe it's time for a new act. Hmmm. And I can see a great big arrow pointing the way.
ReplyDeleteTake a break from IT - breaks are good. You can blog about anything at all, you know, it doesn't have to be weight-related. You could post pics of Buster B (I love seeing those.) You could blog about anything that takes your fancy. My blog started life as a weightl;oss blog but it has morphed into a blog about any old thing that piques my interest.
ReplyDeleteDo blog sooner rather than later, like Roxie says - you'll be missed if you don't. I've grown to care about you and I'm sure I'm not the only one!
I missed this post, and yesterday, before you commented, I was thinking about you. Wondering what happened to you.
ReplyDeleteYour doctor is right you know. You definitely don't need to lose weight. You definitely need to stop thinking about i. But a 48-year habit is a hard one to break.
Sounds like maybe you're getting there by not posting for a while. Although I miss you. :)