I was going to wait until next year to post this, as I didn't want to taint the holiday season. But this has come to a head for me emotionally, and I felt compelled to write and post this today:
There is a blogger I ran across by accident a few months ago. It was a case of mistaken identity on his part…without even paying attention to the facts, he assumed I was another "Grace" that he was having a feud with. He left a somewhat snide comment directed at me on another blogger's post. As a result, I checked out his blog, and then I emailed him and told him I was not the "Grace" he was angry with and that I really didn't want to be involved in the drama that was his blog. To his credit, he acknowledged my correction, but...
...then my curiosity was piqued. I checked out his blog and immediately saw some strange things...
This guy is constantly calling out other weight loss bloggers on their "stupid ass" approach to weight loss. He makes fun of them in a very mean way. He spends a lot of energy responding at length, unsolicited, to ideas they may have simply ruminated about on their own blogs. By my count, since October, he has alienated at least 6 other bloggers. He talks about all the "hate mail" and "hateful comments" and just general "hate" that he gets from all the "haters" out there because of his opinions and posts and weight loss approach. It apparently doesn't occur to him that "hate" goes both ways. Hate begets Hate. It's interesting that he also recently refused an invitation to a family party because everyone else in his family is stupid or makes him mad. So his family apparently are all haters too.
But…all his faithful follower friends praise him, telling him he is so "honest" and "funny"…they love when he cuts others "down to size." I personally do not see much that is humorous about his posts. From what I can see, he makes frequent use of crude language ("shit" is a very popular term he uses to describe what other people say on their blogs). Occasionally someone will try to point out that the person he says "hates" him doesn't really. But that doesn't seem to slow him down...he's on a tear and everyone else is stupid or crazy.
I know why I started reading…it was by accident, then out of curiosity (I have been following him anonymously, mostly because I didn't want to possibly be exposed to his wrath by being a follower of someone he ended up disagreeing with). But now I don't know why I still read his blog. I think I'm reading it for the drama.
The sad thing is, he does have some good weight loss ideas, he's been personally very successful in his endeavor, and he is very serious about it. But sometimes people just need to do their own thing and have different ideas on what we all know is a very complicated weight loss process. Different things work for different people. But instead of responding with positive advice or even tactfully negative advice, he uses his cutting humor to slash and hurt. He starts making fun of people in what I think is a very abusive, bullying manner. (Yes, because of my personal history, I'm probably extra sensitive to anything that might be described as "abusive.") But all the so-called "hate" he gets back is everyone else's fault. He is the king of excellent ideas and no one better cross him.
As I said, I was going to wait until after the New Year to post this. But the negativity seems to be spreading NOW, so I didn't feel like I could wait. Just today, one of this fellow's followers called another blogger "a crazy bitch" because the blogger that this fellow "called out" responded to a comment that one of his followers made. Why are people so overly sensitive and quick to anger? (It almost feels like "road rage on the information super highway.") It's too complicated for me to follow exactly what happened, who is mad at who, and why...(and the bottom line is the details don't really matter)...but these angry people scare me.
I know I don't have many followers, so this won't reach many folks. I'm just a very tiny fish in a huge blogging sea. But I have found I need to keep my blog and comments positive, and yes, NICE. Whatever your opinions on how to lose weight (this gentleman seems to have a particular disdain for so-called "lap-banders"), we are all human beings who don't deserve to be ridiculed and put down for differing opinions. Live your life, tell us about what you are doing, lose weight (or NOT)...whatever you need to do to keep your sanity…it's your business.
We all deserve respect. Even those we disagree with.
PEACE on EARTH...Please.
Thanks for reading.
Grace, I know who you're talking about. When I started reading his blog he called out a favorite blogger of mine and said something really mean. I posted a comment that I didn't like what he said and that the other blogger was really a good guy.
ReplyDeleteWhat was so ironic about the whole thing is that the other blogger and I had a feud about two years ago. I don't think you knew me then but this other guy is very popular. I said a negative comment about him (without even naming him), he read it and one thing led to another. Long story short, the other blogger actually is a really good guy (after I got to know him better).
Anyway, the blogger you're talking about, I know he's hard on people and says some pretty harsh things, but I think his heart is in the right place for the most part. His approach is just a little (okay, a LOT) different than anything you or I would ever do.
I guess my point is that even though he's very different and sometimes comes across as a meanie, he's getting a message out to people who really need help. The people he attacks are usually people up for the fight, in fact, I think they sort of enjoy the notoriety. I know, it's all a little odd.
The lapband thing, well, I think the point he's been trying to make is that it can work for people if used correctly, but a lot of people abuse it and that's where the trouble comes in with this procedure. It's easily abused. I actually know two people that have a lapband and one of them has the fluid in it reduced so they can binge. Then when they want to lose weight, they have it filled (which tightens it). Then they eat until they throw up. They really haven't learned a thing about how to be healthy, but they are skinny. It's actually really sad. So I think what's he's trying to do is warn people about the dangers of the lapband.
Anyway, sorry for my long-winded comment.
I hope you have a wonderful and very Merry Christmas! And I hope I get to see you in 2011! :)
I've found that it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round. And that for me, if I find something that irritates me, I find it best just to leave it alone and walk away. People do what people do and I have a choice, especially over the web, about what I choose to read and allow in.
ReplyDeleteIt's the same reason I don't read comments on newspaper sites.
Yes - There's a song we used to sing at the Course in Miracles "church" which was really just a study group.... so many years ago....
ReplyDelete"Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me!"
Gentle and aptly named Grace...
Just like trigger foods.... walk on by, especially
If you feel yourself being drawn into the chaos!
I hope you don't go back to his blog! He sounds awful and who needs all that bullying! I enjoy your positivity. Don't even give him another thought.
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like a very judgmental person, which drives me bananas. I don't like it when someone thinks what works for them HAS to work for someone else. We all are on our own journey and some are at a slower pace or a faster pace, but people need to keep in mind that it's their own.
ReplyDeleteI've gotten a few snide remarks on my blog because I vent and whine. I had to put my comments on moderation. I don't get why people just don't click the little X in the corner and take the time to make a nasty remark that could hurt someone's feelings.
Glad you straightened him out! ;)