December 32

This is another extra-long weekend, which I was really looking forward to. Well, I still am, except I'm a bit disappointed with myself that I seem to have pissed away the first day already. I had so many things on my list to accomplish. But I just felt lazy. I did take B to the park, straightened up my closet a bit, and did some laundry, but that's about it. Not much to show for a whole day.

I have gained a little weight...honestly, it's really not much...about 5 lbs...since this summer. That's when I was feeling really good and at my lowest weight. I was eating right and working out a lot. If I was too busy for a long workout, I'd at least make time to go to Curves. Overall, food hasn't been too bad, but the difference is I haven't been doing much cardio since early October. Again, I'm not motivated. This has manifested itself in an ever expanding muffin top. I'm definitely more flabby, especially around the middle, than I was just a few months ago. It's funny how quickly that stuff creeps up on you.

Still, I'm not upset, which is progress. I'm not angry at myself. As I said, I'm just disappointed. I'd honestly rather sit on my butt and play on my laptop or watch TV than get up and do something productive or physical. It's easier. In a way, I've been giving myself permission. I tell myself I work hard, I have a right to be a bit lazy when I have the time off. But I don't like the consequences. I keep telling myself…Next year, January 1. I'll start to get back on track.

But why do I do this every year? You would think I'd learn. I always justify it that I'm still 10 lbs lighter than where I was 2 years ago at this time. But I'm also not where I'd like to be...I'd like to weigh about 10 lbs less than I do now. So...why can't I just "get there" and "stay there"?

SO…here we are. December 31. There is no December 32, so that means January 1, 2011 is...almost HERE. I'm not waiting until Monday, January 3, to do something. For that matter, who says I can't do "something" tomorrow? So I think I will.

I don't know what that "something" is yet, but I'll let you know.