A Real Pain...

I have had an extremely stressful last two weeks at work. I actually had a pretty significant melt-down last Wednesday, which I did not mention here, because I didn't want to dwell on it. But the fact is, I was so angry about something that I came as close to quitting my job as I ever have in my whole career.

It all boiled down to my not feeling supported by my superiors. We have way too much work to do, and due to budget constraints, not enough people to do it all. Yet expectations of my group are very high. So I had a heart-to-heart with my immediate supervisor on Thursday, and he acknowledged there were a lot of problems, but the bottom line is I was basically told "that's the way it is." The issues were out of my control and there wasn't anything to be done. In essence... "suck it up."

I didn't feel good about our meeting.

So I stewed and fretted about it and felt upset. I actually let myself feel angry, which is unusual for me. I usually just run away from feelings of anger.

Still, I tried to stay positive. And I really thought I was handling my emotions well. Eating was not great, but not bad. Exercise was a bit minimal due to the busy schedule, but I've been fitting it in when I could. Rather than just hold my feelings inside, I even discussed the situation with Dr D.

But, about 4 days ago, I started feeling something in my lower back. It was kind of like a pain, but not really. It was strange. Then I woke up on Monday morning, I had this rash on my backside, which got progressively worse as the day went on. It got so I could hardly sit down. I showed it to my hub that night, and he didn't know what it was. And boy, did it hurt...yes it sure did. I felt like I had a major case of sciatica. So I called a friend who is a dermatologist, and she had me email her picture.

I have shingles.

She called in a prescription for anti-viral medication for me, but the pain is bad. And I don't want to get too graphic…but the rash has even spread to some places you just don't want a rash. Believe me.

I'm taking Tylenol, which seems to help some, but the relief is short term. And I don't like to take a lot of Tylenol, it can make your liver fall out. So I'm just trying to ignore the pain. But right now I'm feeling very sorry for myself. And I want to eat ice cream.

So, how the heck did I get such a thing? I thought only old people got shingles! (uh...I wonder if this means I AM OLD). But my doc friend says it is often related to stress. I told her about my work situation, and she said that could be the cause. She said I should take a few days off from work, relax, take it easy…I wish I could, but I can't. At least I do have Friday off.

So life goes on, the rash should start healing in a few days. I'll get better…I'll just try to not get so angry and stressed out about things I can't control.

And I think I will have some ice cream. No reason I shouldn't. (Just as long as I don't eat the whole carton.)

P.S. I was just looking at some more info on the internet, and I realize there are a lot worse places to get shingles than on your backside. I am so lucky I didn't get them on my face..you can go blind or have your face paralyzed due to nerve damage. Whew!