Thankful for My Life

On Tuesday afternoon, we flew down to San Francisco and will be staying a few days with my husband’s best friend of 50 years. 

Tuesday evening, we had dinner with friends and relatives at a favorite restaurant.  Yesterday afternoon, we went to the gym with our friend, and last night we had sushi for dinner.  This afternoon, we will be going for Thanksgiving dinner at our friend’s niece’s house. 

Tomorrow we’ll visit my husband’s brother, and then Saturday we’ll head to Palm Springs for a week for some sun and more relaxation. 

How lucky am I? 

Very.

My mother is now well cared in her Adult Family Home, for so that’s a lot of worry off my shoulders. 

The lady who stays with our dogs while we are gone is a good friend so no worries there either.   

I love that we can afford to travel and that we have fun places to go and friends in those places.

I love that I don’t hate my job (does that make sense? Lol) and that even if I did, I’ll be retiring in April. 

I have the best life.

So I’m thankful, very thankful.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Indulging my OCD

Getting my mom into an Adult Family Home has changed my life. 

Knowing that she is well cared for (even if her mind is mostly gone) has  freed me up both emotionally and physically. 

Since I'm not taking care of her all the time, I’ve been able to spend more time on my own self-care.  Oh, not the stupid “self care” that all the InStAgRaM InFlUeNcErS talk about endlessly...the Botox, the facials, the eyelashes, manicures, etc etc.

Who has time for that?  For me, self care means eating right, working out, getting enough quality sleep, making medical appointments, spending time doing the things I enjoy.

So what do I do for relaxation?

I indulge in my OCD tendencies.  After years of therapy and medication, my OCD isn't cured but it's managed.  So now when I clean, I actually enjoy it.  I organize. I rearrange.  I straighten up.  I “futz around” as my husband calls it.  Sometimes it makes him nervous, because he remembers how I used to be.  But now he sees that I'm enjoying what I'm doing and not cleaning because I'm stressed or distressed.  (It's kind of an inside joke for us "I can quit anytime I want!" but the truth is...now, I CAN.)   

Now that I don’t have so much on my mind, I can just go with the flow and enjoy the feeling of accomplishment one drawer, one box, ONE ROOM AT A TIME. 

I’ve started in the basement and over the last 2 months, I’ve gotten rid of so much stuff.  Yesterday, I started setting up my office downstairs.  I got to clean up an old desk in my husband’s office, and re-arrange the space my own tidy image.  

I love how my house and yard are looking really nice…  clean and tidy.  I feel so accomplished.  So now my OCD has become productive, relaxing therapy!  That’s progress.

Better and better

In the five weeks since I've moved my mom into the Adult Family Home, things have calmed down considerably!  She's started eating more, some of her skin issues are clearing up, and she's getting a bit stronger.  Even though she can't walk on her own, she can at least help me with transferring her to her wheelchair.    

I think it's a combination of just getting more one-on-one attention, and I also told her that if she didn't eat and get stronger, I couldn't take her to church because I was afraid I'd hurt myself or her.  It's hard to know exactly what gets through the fog of dementia into her brain, but church is very important to her so maybe that did.

The sad fact is that she has the mind of a 6 year old and literally no short term memory.  She can't take care of herself at all, has no awareness of her surroundings, and she needs 24 hour supervision.  But the home is a great one and I feel quite secure and relieved that she is there.  At least she does know who I am, which is good.  Now I feel like when I go to visit her, it's just that, a visit.  I'm not there to make sure she's okay or to handle problems that have cropped up because of lack of supervision or care.  Now we can just visit and talk and I can be her daughter, rather than her caregiver.  

The best part is, if she needs medical attention, they have a doctor who is on call.  She's my mom's personal physician now.  I no longer have to take her anywhere to get tested or treated.

For example, a few days ago, the caregiver noticed that my mom woke up in the morning with one eye red and irritated.  The caregiver sent the doctor a photo, then the doctor gave some recommendations for hot compresses and wrote a prescription for an antibiotic ointment.   Mom's eye is fine now.  If it had become necessary, the doctor would have actually come to visit her. 

In the past, I would have had to try to get her into her primary care physician, or take her to the ER.  But first, someone at her assisted living would have had to NOTICE that her eye was red and then to think to tell me.  So now problems get addressed much more quickly.   

As for myself, I've been able to get back into my workout and diet routine.  Back to 4 days a week with my trainer, then on my own for 2 other days a week.

It's also amazing that when I'm not stressed out, I can leave the licorice alone.  I haven't had any for at least 3 weeks.  Yeah!  That really goes for carbs in general.  When I'm at peace, it's easier to forgo the white sugar and flour.

My husband and I are going to the ocean this weekend for the first weekend of this season's RAZOR CLAMMING!  I'm pretty excited as we haven't been to our condo there for several months.   It's always relaxing and fun, no matter what we do when we are there.  Now that my mom is in a good place, I'm not worried about leaving her for a few days, and I don't feel guilty either.  So...Wish us luck catching those darn clams!  

For your enjoyment, here's a photo of the tree lined Parkway that I drive on every day to and from work.  This was taken a few days ago, before the big storm we are having today.