Whew...

I did it...I spent the day with my mother, and I didn't freak out!

I almost lost my temper a few times, but I didn't. Putting up the tree was a chore, especially since my mother kept critiquing what I was doing. "Why don't you do it this way?" "I don't like the way that looks..." etc., etc. It was really annoying.

Finally I told her in a very pleasant voice, "Mother, just let me finish and then you can tell me if it looks okay; if not, I can change it. But right now I'm in the middle of putting the tree together, it's not the finished product." I was amazed, she said "Okay, I'll just sit here and watch. I won't say anything more." And she did! She just quietly sat until I was finished and then we tweaked it a bit to her satisfaction. Normally I would have just gotten irritated and snapped at her, and the day would have gone downhill from there.

After we were done with the tree, I drove her to a doctor appointment and then around town so she could do some Christmas shopping, and we actually had a good conversation in the car. She didn't say anything critical to me (about my clothes, my hair, my weight, my car, the way I drive...) which is really unusual.

As for how I handled food today: Mom did have some Lindt truffles in the house (my favorite) but I only had 4 pieces (about 300 calories). Normally I would have eaten about 20. On the drive home, I didn't even think about stopping for binge food. After I got home, I walked into the house and announced to hub: "My mom drives me crazy." He said "Of course she does" and then he and I laughed about it a bit. It felt good to laugh about it.

Then I called Mom to let her know I got home okay (she always wants to make sure) and she told me, "I don't know what I'd do without you. You know, you're my angel. God blessed me when he gave me you." I was so surprised...it actually made me tear up a little bit.

I'm really trying to change the way I react to her. I'm trying to look at her as I would look at a customer at work. I never lose my temper or snap at someone who needs a permit, no matter how annoying or unpleasant that person is...co-workers often comment on how patient I am with even the most difficult customers. As Dr D advised, I'm reacting to Mom with my "adult professional" self, rather than my "little girl" self. As a result, she seems to be treating me with more respect and even love. (Or it could just be a passing phase...lol). Whatever it is, I'm not feeling so crazy anymore.

Now all I need is to get through Christmas...with the whole family there, it's gonna be a special challenge.