Would you like to ensure your little girl develops an eating disorder? Just follow these easy steps:
1. As soon as that child can understand what you are saying constantly discuss her appearance and weight...joke with everyone about how homely your child is, she has a face only a mother could love.
2. If the child is at all "chubby," discuss at length in her presence how to solve her weight “problem.”
3. If you're really lucky, the child will get the stomach flu and be so sick that she can’t eat for days. If this happens, discuss in positive terms the fact that she has lost weight from being sick.
Later on, even when she is a normal weight, tell her you don't understand why she is fat.
4. Make sure to keep lots
of sugary and fatty foods in the house, but criticize your child if she
actually wants to eat any of this stuff. After all, she needs to develop
the willpower to resist these things.
5. Be very obsessive about your own appearance and weight. It is especially helpful if you can starve yourself to the point of fainting and causing your relatives to ask at a family reunion if you have cancer. When your husband (the child's father) tries to get you to eat, tell him to mind his own business and continue starving yourself.
6. Last but certainly not least, keep in mind that constant criticism of the child at every opportunity is integral to the success of this process. Unrestrained rage at everyone in the family, screaming, and slapping, are also helpful tools...this works especially well if the rage is for no obvious reason and totally unpredictable. The younger the child is when you start this particular aspect of the program, the better.
By following these 6 simple steps, you can create a child with emotional problems such as PTSD, clinical depression, BDD, and an array of eating disorders. If you are particularly diligent, these problems will be with your child for her whole lifetime! Good luck!
Sad and beyond powerful.
ReplyDeleteThis is truly an amazing post---I hope you will stop by MizFit next week (monday) when Im gonna try and make the other list.
the how not to...
**hugs**
MizFit
Dear sweet god...I swear I know you from another lifetime. How incredibly close to home this hit me. The sad truth of this is that now you are aware. And being aware although terribly painful, can be a very empowering skill in the long term. I wish you well and hugs across the miles.
ReplyDeleteYou write a powerful blog. Thank you for sharing your story and your pain with us. I hope you continue to find peace and strength from this journey, even though it's painful at times to face the past. Once you face it and acknowledge it from an adult's perspective, it will lose it's power over you now. At least that's what I'm hoping for, both for you and for me.
ReplyDeleteI wish you peace.
I wish our parents had known back then how their actions would affect us. I don't think they really meant to hurt us but to them, our feelings were not given one thought.
ReplyDeleteSending hugs to us all.
Oh my dear woman, this totally broke my heart. What in God's name was wrong with your parents?! I really think people need to take classes before they're allowed to create a child and ruin it's life.
ReplyDeleteYou've come a long way baby. :) You know what they did to you, you know why you have food issues and you're working through them. You are an amazing, strong and beautiful woman. I salute you.
Wow, did you nail it! That was not their (her) intention, but the only possible outcome. However, it doesn't have to be for life, and hopefully you will continue to move forward in your journey and healing. And maybe even forgive her.
ReplyDeleteDear God, woman!
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell were your parents thinking?
That is just awful.
I'm sorry you had to go through that.
Yeah, they suck. My favorite from childhood was "Do whatever it takes to be skinny, I ate carrots and plain tuna in water for months until I was down to 110"... and she was 5ft6! She totally believed that the starve was worth the outcome.
ReplyDeleteIts funny. I wrote a list like this about a year ago with the intention of giving it to my parents. I never did because it was more for me. The point of it was that you can't NOT come out of an experience similar to ours without an eating disorder. I went through being starved at 13-14 by my coaches and parents. Then bulimia from 25-27. And in all of it- twenty plus years of bingeing.
I feel the pain of not being in control of the outcome of your food habits... and having to face the aftermath as an adult. It is not fair. It made me so angry to face it. I wanted to punch and kick and yell at them because I didn't have a choice. Thankfully through awareness from therapy I am able to change it now.
LOVES TO YOU!
My heart hurts for you in a way that I'm unable to put to words.
ReplyDeleteNo child or adult for that matter, should ever suffer the way you have. It is just not right on any level. I know you know that now, but then, as a powerless, trusting child did not. It speaks more of your mother's insecurities than your own, but you suffer the fate of the ignorance and abuse.
Your ability to look at why you are who you are because of things beyond your control when you were younger, will just make for a stronger you today.
Are you starting to feel stronger because of this knowledge? Are you finding the pain worth the discovery?
Sending you great big hugs.
Wouldn't it be great if our problems could be fixed in 6 easy steps.
ReplyDeleteHoly Crap! I THANK GOD for my parents. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Sending love your way..........FEEL IT!
ReplyDelete