A Mother's Influence

When I first got up yesterday, I was watching TV by myself and ran across a series called "What's Eating You" on E!, and it is about people with eating disorders. My husband doesn't like me to watch shows like this, because they can be very triggering (although not so much anymore).

But since he was still in bed, I watched one episode about a young woman named Nickey who had BDD and OCD tendencies (like I do). (Except she was really skinny and had an extreme fear of carbohydrates). It would take her hours to get dressed in the morning, because everything has to match, and she thinks everything makes her look fat, and she is terrified to look at herself in the mirror.

Then I watched a few other clips on line from other shows. Again, there were women with bulimia, anorexia, binge eating disorders, compulsive exercising, etc.

Can you guess what the common denominator was for all these women? Their mothers. Their mothers modeled this behavior, or criticized them for their weight, or put them on diets at a young age when they were just a little overweight or even perfectly normal.

I guess the moral of this story (if there is one) is if you have children (especially girls), please please please be aware of how your actions can affect them longterm, even as adults. Here I am, almost 58 years old, still dealing with BDD, OCD, anxiety, and long term effects of disordered eating.

Remember, you are the most influential person in your child's life. I wish my mother had told me when I was little that I was important and valuable as a person, whether or not I was skinny. It might have changed my life.