I haven't posted because I've been a bit in the dumps lately. Reading through other blogs, it looks like some others are in the same frame of mind. I wonder what's going on? I think for me, it's a combination of things:
1. It is obvious that our summer (meaning "real summer") is over in the PNW.
I really love the HOT HOT days of summer when it gets light at 4 a.m. and doesn't get dark until 10:30. (The fact is we didn't really have a good hot summer this year, like we did last year, so I feel kind of cheated too.) Yes, we'll still have some beautiful, warm days...but the sunsets are coming earlier and earlier, the nights are already chilly, and the leaves are turning color. This always makes me sad...nothing different this year, this always makes me sad.
2. August is the month of both my dad's birthday and the anniversary of his death in 2006. Although I'm not a real sentimental person when it comes to dates like this, my mom is. So she brings me down with her focus on these occasions. I spend a lot of time comforting her.
3. My ankle sucks. Really sucks. So I'm not able to go for any good walks. I'm getting acupuncture, which seems to be helping, although I'm not sure if it's just 
better because I'm not using it much. Every time I go for acupuncture, I ask the Dr...When can I go for walks again? She says...Don't be in such a hurry. I ask...Not even treadmill? She says...No. I persist...How about walks as long as long they are not too strenuous? She says...No, don't walk any more than necessary. So I'm trying to be a "patient patient"...But it still sucks. I miss my walks both for my physical and mental well being.
4. Even though my weight is stable, I've noticed my love handles increasing. I REALLY noticed it this morning. I figure this is as a result of lack of aerobic exercise. I hate my love handles...they make me feel self-conscious and unattractive. They make me want to wear baggy sweaters.
So, what to do to get out of this rut?
1. Schedule a trip to somewhere that is is summer all the time, like...Hawaii!
(Done!...only one month before we go!)
2. Talk to Dr D about my mom issues, and hang on until September.
Dr D is always helpful for working through family issues, and things will be back to "normal" (whatever that is) with my mom in September.
3. Continue ankle acupuncture and rest.
(I have to admit, occasionally the thought will cross my mind...I'll go for a walk JUST THIS ONCE and the Dr will never know...but I'll know. And then I tell myself, Don't be stupid. What's the point of spending time and money on acupuncture, if you're only going to disregard her advice?)
4. Find some other form of aerobic exercise.
*I hate swimming. (I hate to put my face in the water.)
*I hate bike riding. (I'm always afraid I'm going to get hit by a car or I'll do something stupid to get honked at or yelled at.)
*I hate hot yoga. (I spend all my time in dead pose because it's either that or faint.)
*I've been going to Curves, but all I am allowed to do is the weight-lifting part, not the jump-around-in-between-each-machine part. I can't seem to get an aerobic work out just doing the weight lifting.
So, what to do...?
*Take a spinning class.
I've never taken a spinning class. That's definitely aerobic exercise, and would be relatively easy on the ankle. Our local 24HrFitness is offering a 7-Day free pass, and they have spinning classes every day. So, I've printed out my free pass already and I'll go in tomorrow.
*Reduce carbs
I found through research that refined carbs supposedly contribute a lot to love handles.
Anyway, that's the plan. The first three ideas are already in motion, and I'm starting tomorrow on the spinning class and lower carbs. I'll let you know how it goes.
Sometimes I wonder what I'm even doing that takes up so much time. I feel as if every day I'm on the go from 5:30 a.m. to 10 p.m., and what do I have to show for it? I haven't even had time to blog last week. Last weekend was Seafair. I don't really care much about the hydroplane races and all that other "Seafair-y" stuff, but I do love the Blue Angels. And I got to see them twice! They were 
fantastic… Last Friday, I went out with my friend on her boat. Buster got to come too! Once he got used to the engine noise, he really enjoyed himself. The amazing thing is for some reason the overhead roar of the Blue Angels didn't bother him at all. I think he did get a bit seasick, because he upchucked a little once toward the end of the boat ride. Poor B...but he was just fine afterwards. Then Hub and I went to a party on Saturday on Lake Washington and saw the Angels again. It was very cool. (I wish I could take credit for this great picture, but as fast as the Blue Angels move...my camera was no match.) My right ankle has been really bothering me…again. Damn. I finally went to my sports medicine doctor today, and he thinks I might have a combination of a re-sprain plus shin splints. He told me to stay off it, ice it, and take ibuprofen. No hard walking or trail hiking for at least 2 weeks. This pisses me off, but the fact is it does hurt like a bitch. I guess I'll just have to go to Curves instead temporarily.
I'm still up a few pounds from my lowest recent weight which was 161, but I don't seem to be gaining anymore…right now I'm at 164. I was going to just try to be happy at 164 for a while, but…
At the end of September, a good friend and I are going to Hawaii for a week to celebrate her retirement from the fire service. I am so excited! She and I have known each other since 1980 when we worked at the same fire station. (This is the same friend I go with to Fat Tuesday in Seattle.) We're going to stay in our condo…this will be her first time in Hawaii and my first time there without Hub. It will be really fun to have a week there without having to clean, repair, fix, etc., which is what we normally do a lot of when I'm there with Hub. We'll just be able to lie in the sun, shop, and relax. (I'll be getting back just in time to go to Geneen Roth's seminar, where I'm so happy that I get to meet Diana of "Diana's Weight Loss Journey.")
So, of course "The Crazy Brain" (as my blogging friend Dana of "To the Best of My Ability" calls it) tells me I need to lose 5 lbs before we go. I'm sure I CAN do it, but the question is whether I SHOULD do it? I'm still very new at "being normal" so I need to be careful about doing anything that will trigger old self-destructive disordered eating habits. At least now I'm aware of what goes on in my crazy brain, so I can fight it. Plus I have a much better support system in place than I've ever had before. I just need to remember that the point of going to Hawaii is to have fun and that NOT ONE PERSON there will be looking at me and judging me on my weight. The fact is...no one will be paying any attention to me. No one, not one person (except myself of course), cares what I look like. I am not the focus of the world's attention. So, for the first time in my life, I'm going to try to enjoy myself and not worry constantly about what people think of me. At least, that's my goal, and it will be a real growth experience for me.
I hope everyone is having a great week!
My back was hurting a lot yesterday and I felt feverish, so I came home a bit early from work. I walked in the door, immediately took a whole "real" pain pill (hydrocodone), got into bed, and proceeded to sleep from about 3:30 to 8 p.m. Hub finally woke me up to come eat some dinner. He said I had been sleeping so hard he checked on me a few times to make sure I was still breathing...
I took another 1/2 a pill about 10:30, went back to bed and slept until 8 a.m. this morning…and I feel SOOO much better today. I am still taking some Tylenol but not needing as much as before. Between the pain medication, the anti-viral drugs, the rest, and time-healing-all-wounds, I seem to be on the mend.
Just got back from taking B to the park. I intend to take it easy today, just putter around the house, de-clutter and do a bit of laundry. I may even take a nap this afternoon!
We're going to a friend's house for a BBQ tonight. She has a boat, and since the weather is nice, she's going to take us for a ride on Lake Washington before dinner. Sounds like low-key fun and I'm looking forward to that.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
better because I'm not using it much. Every time I go for acupuncture, I ask the Dr...When can I go for walks again? She says...Don't be in such a hurry. I ask...Not even treadmill? She says...No. I persist...How about walks as long as long they are not too strenuous? She says...No, don't walk any more than necessary. So I'm trying to be a "patient patient"...But it still sucks. I miss my walks both for my physical and mental well being. 
