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| If I'm gonna eat a donut, it's got to be this kind |
I worked out every day and ate healthy. Even the donut I ate last night on the way home was healthy.
WHAT? YOU ATE A DONUT? That can't possibly be okay. But it was. In fact it was more than just okay.
I have a history of eating disorders and donuts have always been one of my "struggle" foods. So it's even more surprising that I can honestly describe that donut as "healthy."
Yesterday, we did leg day at the gym and I almost died (but in a good way). Then I ate well during the day, so early in the afternoon, I was feeling great.
But it was hot and muggy (in the 90's) and our office does not have air conditioning, and it started to get pretty uncomfortable around 3:30 pm. I had a lot of work to get done, so I wasn't paying attention to water intake and I don't think I kept as hydrated I should have. By the end of the work day around 6 pm, I was soooo tired and I had developed a slight headache. (And I never get headaches.) Even though I downed some water, the headache persisted.
On the way home, I had to stop at the grocery store to get something for a recipe my husband was making for dinner. As I entered the parking lot, I said to myself, "I have a headache and I think a donut will make it better." Yes, I actually said that to myself.
I was listening to my body, and it told me I needed a donut. There was no emotional component. I didn't argue with myself over whether I would get fat if I ate the donut, or whether I deserved the donut because I had worked out hard that day. I wasn't wanting a donut because I was sad or frustrated or angry. So I bought one old fashioned donut out of the bakery case. (If they hadn't had that kind, I don't know what I would have bought instead.)
I ate that donut in my car on the way home and it really did help my headache. Then at home, I ate a normal dinner, went to bed early, and this morning I felt great.
So that donut was healthy. The amazing thing is I finally feel as if I am somewhat normalizing my relationship with food. The bottom line for me is that it's OKAY to have a donut once in a while.
I hope that some day eating a donut will be so normal for me that I won't even have to write a blog post about it.
That is awesome that you were able to analyze the thoughts of why you were getting the donut and realize it had no emotions tied to it...it really was a hunger thing! I sometimes get headaches at work...and I slowly realized that they were mostly caused by either being tired....but mostly because I was just really hungry that day. Those days my normal lunch of fruit and a piece of cheese don’t cut of...so I head to the cafeteria! Always does the trick!
ReplyDeleteSounds like you made a normal decision about having a donut! I've never had issues around food but this post-menopausal weight gain has really messed with my head. Suddenly, I have to think about what I'm putting in my mouth. I've already made changes in my diet because of RA, so at least it's a little easier.
ReplyDeleteI love your success with the donut! I finally accepted that a real Coke - yes with SUGAR - helps with nausea. Carsick? Stop at McDonald's, get that Coke, and I'm mostly all better. But at home? I'd try ever other way with no results, and when I was getting so sick from all of the pain meds recently, I finally had my husband bring home some Coke, and that made me feel much better. Coke, donuts - let's face it, wouldn't you rather eat/drink the pain away over taking a pill?
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