The Evils of Sugar…DUH!

I know all about you, sugar.  I know you are not my friend.  I used to binge on sugar and then purge.  Now, if I eat too much, you make me feel weird, shaky, weak.

Since I've cut out almost all sugar in the past few weeks, I've been feeling great.  When I do eat a little sugar (like a teaspoon of lemon curd in my Greek yogurt), the effect is minimized because of the protein in the yogurt.  Or on Saturday night, when I have a bowl of ice cream (I allow myself one small to medium size bowl per week), it's after I've eaten dinner.  So, I'm not obsessive when it comes to eliminating sugar, but I try to be very moderate and careful when it comes to how and when I eat it. Because I know better, and I know how my body reacts to too much. 

Yesterday, I packed my regular food for the day (Greek yogurt, two pieces of chicken, a Quest bar, and a salad), and on the way to work I drank a big bottle of water with fresh lemon, currently my normal breakfast beverage.  (I don't…can't…usually eat until around 9:30...the idea of food first thing in the morning makes me ill.)  I was feeling great and being very productive at work. 

Around 9 am, I ventured up to the front counter to pick up some plans.  And on one of the work tables there was...a huge box of donuts.  Not just any donuts...someone had brought in two dozen Top Pot donuts. 

I am and will always be a sucker when it comes to a Top Pot donut.  Top Pot is a local company that makes the best donuts in the world.  I can resist any other donut...Krispy Kreme, Dunkin, you name it...but not Top Pot donuts.  And very specifically…glazed old fashioned donuts.  I won't eat any other kind.  

As I gazed at the donuts, I was really hoping not to see "it."  But there it was…among all the other donuts in the box was one glazed old fashioned.  I looked at it, it looked back (I swear)...but then I turned and I walked away to the front counter and picked up the plans.  But on my way back, as I passed by, I looked at it again…and then I took it.  And I ate it, and I savored it, and I enjoyed it.

And then I felt like shit.  Not guilty, or emotionally like shit.  I've learned I can indulge in something I like occasionally without feeling like I'm a failure or a bad person.  But physically, I felt horrible.  Because I had eaten the donut on an empty stomach, the sugar started coursing through my veins, and I immediately started to feel shaky.  I had to go into a meeting right then, so I sat in there having hot flashes.  When I had to speak to the group, I felt very insecure and almost fearful that I was going to say something stupid.  My voice quaked and sounded kind of raspy.  I noticed I was even having minor heart palpitations.  

When the meeting was over, I ate a piece of the chicken I had brought, hoping to feel better.  But it was too late.  The damage was done.  The rest of the day, I found myself feeling distracted and irritable.  Not only that, I was craving more sugar, and found myself eating a few pieces of candy from the candy dish on someone's desk.  Then at home, although I had a wonderful (healthy) dinner, I was still famished.  I wanted sugar….more sugar.  Sugar, Sugar, SUGAR!  Grrrrrr!  It was as if there was a monster inside me.

That was the absolute best illustration and reminder that sugar and I are really not compatible.  I hope to never again feel the way I felt yesterday…and the great thing is, this is totally within my control.   In a way, I'm almost glad it happened.  I start thinking I am "normal" and this was a stark reminder to me that I'm not normal, at least not when it comes to sugar.   

Lesson Learned!