The weather has been so nice lately, and the trees have been gorgeous, although they are quickly losing their colorful leaves. It's cooled off a lot today and is supposed to rain this weekend. But here's a (very) short video to show you how beautiful it's been.
I took B to the vet this morning. We saw a new doctor who was totally charmed by him (of course) and B did all his tricks for her. Unfortunately, he's gained 1.5 lbs since last year, which is not good for a small dog. He should weigh about 17 lbs, but today he weighed 18.5. Weight is an issue for dogs too, although I don't think B worries about whether people will like him if he weighs 18.5 lbs instead of 17…lol. With his elbow dysplasia, he can't go on long walks, so he doesn't get the exercise he used to. And any excess weight gain can exacerbate his limping. It's a vicious circle. So, I guess we will need to start feeding him a little less. A smaller dinner, and not as many treats. Hmmm, I don't think he is going to be happy about THAT!
I am definitely struggling with the fact that I've gained a bit. Today I'm stressing because Hub and I are going out to dinner tomorrow with some friends, and the last time they saw me was this summer, when I weighed 162. The "mean voice" is telling me they will both be absolutely shocked at how fat I am, at how much I've gained. And although I won't do it, it's actually crossed my mind to starve myself until we see them tomorrow. That's how strangely screwed up I still am in my head. I hate it. I'm trying to listen to the "new voice" telling me that they won't probably even notice, but right now the "mean voice" is louder. ♫Sometimes I feel like a nut, ♫ Sometimes I don't♫. And right now, I am feeling like the Queen of Nutville.
At just slightly taller than 5'9", 162-163 is a good, healthy weight for me, and Dr D has assured me that I will get back there if I just don't worry about it and continue to eat normally. Sometimes when people with eating disorders start to eat normally, their weight will bounce up and down a bit before they settle at their ideal weight. Her main concern is that I not beat myself up about it. She said that it might even be a good idea to see a nutritionist who deals with patients with "food issues." We talked about this about a year ago, but I wasn't ready at that time to give up the restrictive eating. I was still trying to "do my own thing." I'm feeling more open to the idea now. Hub and I have a 3-week vacation coming up (we leave Nov 19), then there is Christmas and New Years. So now is not the time to start some new experimental eating. But maybe I'll explore that after the first of the year.
Well, time to get a bit of housework done. If I keep busy, I'm less anxious.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
I am definitely struggling with the fact that I've gained a bit. Today I'm stressing because Hub and I are going out to dinner tomorrow with some friends, and the last time they saw me was this summer, when I weighed 162. The "mean voice" is telling me they will both be absolutely shocked at how fat I am, at how much I've gained. And although I won't do it, it's actually crossed my mind to starve myself until we see them tomorrow. That's how strangely screwed up I still am in my head. I hate it. I'm trying to listen to the "new voice" telling me that they won't probably even notice, but right now the "mean voice" is louder. ♫Sometimes I feel like a nut, ♫ Sometimes I don't♫. And right now, I am feeling like the Queen of Nutville.
At just slightly taller than 5'9", 162-163 is a good, healthy weight for me, and Dr D has assured me that I will get back there if I just don't worry about it and continue to eat normally. Sometimes when people with eating disorders start to eat normally, their weight will bounce up and down a bit before they settle at their ideal weight. Her main concern is that I not beat myself up about it. She said that it might even be a good idea to see a nutritionist who deals with patients with "food issues." We talked about this about a year ago, but I wasn't ready at that time to give up the restrictive eating. I was still trying to "do my own thing." I'm feeling more open to the idea now. Hub and I have a 3-week vacation coming up (we leave Nov 19), then there is Christmas and New Years. So now is not the time to start some new experimental eating. But maybe I'll explore that after the first of the year.
Well, time to get a bit of housework done. If I keep busy, I'm less anxious.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Grace, I think we all have those voices at one time or another. I am not ready to post certain things that have crossed my mind in the past but believe me, you are no different than anyone else!
ReplyDeleteHope your anxiety levels off a bit so that you can enjoy dinner with your friends. They will not be looking at your size - they will be enjoying your company.
Gracie, I agree with the previous comment...friends care about you...not your current weight. I turned 55 this year and have really gotten serious about finding a healthy lifestyle. I enjoy reading every weight loss blog I stumble on...
ReplyDelete