Here’s a quick update:
The good news is my neck is much better…thank you everyone for asking. The bad news is that now the right side of my jaw has been hurting badly, I think from the braces because I find myself clenching my jaw a lot. I had a massage this afternoon, and now I'm putting ice on it. I have an orthodontic appt next week, so I'll discuss it with my doc then.
As for my computer problems, my laptop had been doing some weird things, none of them good...Sometimes I’d turn it on, and I could hear it running, but the screen would be blank. Then it started going dark while I was working on it. I'd have to turn it off and back on...
Now, on a completely different subject...I'd like your opinion on a situation that happened to me last night (and sorry, this story is kind of long drawn out and boring, so bear with me...)
I’m a volunteer member of my neighborhood Citizen Advisory Committee (CAC). I'm one of 10 citizens and we work with a lady from our City's planning dept. Not to get too much into the details, but we’re in the process of writing a neighborhood plan, which is basically a "vision" of what we'd like to see our neighborhood look like over the next 5 to 20 years. We've been meeting every other Monday for 3 hours in the evening (from 6 – 9 p.m.)
Most neighborhoods complete their plans in about a year. Not my committee..we are well into our second year and still several months from completing. The reason is that there are a few people on the committee who like to hear themselves talk. They argue, ruminate, question, go off on tangents, and basically just talk...Talk...TALK...until I’m ready to freakin' SCREAM. The chairperson tries to keep the meeting focused, but to be honest, he is one of the biggest offenders. I’ve brought the issue up a couple of times, both in private to the chairperson, and in our meetings (in a nice way, of course). It doesn’t seem to do much good.
I had a particularly harrowing day at work yesterday…and I’d been up since 4:30 a.m. to get to work early, because I knew I had to leave my office early to get to the meeting on time. The committee has a set amount of work we should be finishing each week, but we are way behind because of the talkers. We’re trying to prepare for an open house next week, at which we're going to present what we've done so far to our neighbors, so we had to complete everything last night.
About 9 o’clock, we were still trudging away and no where near being finished with what we needed to accomplish last night. This had been a typical meeting and at that point I was already exhausted. Then one of the talkers started splitting hairs about something totally stupid. All of a sudden I felt like I was having an-out-of-body experience. It was like I was watching myself do this: I got up from my chair, put on my coat, picked up my notebook, and quietly said to nobody in particular...”I just can’t do this anymore.” Then I left the room without a backward glance and drove home.
(BTW, I wasn't meaning "I can't do this anymore ever." I just meant I couldn't do it anymore that night. But I don't know if they knew that.)
Most of the people involved are retired, so I maybe they have a lot more energy for wasting time than I do, or a lot more tolerance for BS. All I could think was…”I’m missing Dancing with the Stars for THIS??"
I was SO worked up by the time I got home that it took me an hour to calm down. My husband knows some of the people (including the talkers) and knows how they are, so I was ranting and raving to him and scaring the dog.
So, my question is…was I out of line? How much are people supposed to put up with before they are allowed to get angry? All day I kept thinking of whether to apologize to the group, or talk to the chairperson (again), or the City representative, or just tender my resignation.
Then, I (we...all the members) got an email today from the City rep, which said:
Thank you for your suggestions last evening; your continued dedication to the neighborhood planning process is exemplary.
In only a few months, we’ll deliver the plan to the City officials and begin work toward adoption. Please know that the City truly appreciates your work and many look forward to the resulting plan. I want to highlight a special attribute of your CAC: all ten members remain committed to the neighborhood and to the process. I look forward to continuing my connection to the neighborhood throughout implementation of your upcoming plan.
This seems like she was trying to tell us (me) that she knows how frustrating this process has been; and who knows what was said after I left last night. I know I'm not the only one on the committee who has issues with the way it's being run.
Seriously...what do you think I should do?
1. Don't mention it again and go on like nothing happened?
2. Apologize to the group?
3. Talk to the chairperson and/or City rep again?
4. Tender my resignation?
5. Or something I haven't thought of?
I hate being in this situation.
~Graciela
173.5
Wow! As I was reading this I would have done exactly what you did. It sounds like a very frustrating situation. 1) You could try to speak with the chairperson again. 2)or I would say if you adressed the excessive talking issue with key people and no one has stepped up to reign the discussions in and you just don't have the time to hang in if it does not change, then I would resign.
ReplyDeleteWhat does your husband think you should do? I always run things by mine.
Good luck with this.
We all reach a breaking point in whatever it is we have to deal with. But it is a different break point for each of us. If your heart isn't in it anymore because you're so drained by the lack of progression and/or time wasting, you might need to step away from it. Personally, I wouldn't have lasted as long as you. I have very little patience for wasting time when it involves something I cannot control.
ReplyDeleteAlso, ask yourself if you're spreading yourself too thin? And don't feel guilty that you'd rather be home relaxing for an hour after a long day than listening to people ramble on. We overstress ourselves way too much these days.